MMMBop: It's a Secret No One Knows

[whigsgeek]

At 9:00 a.m. this Friday (10/20) I will be embarking on a spiritual journey to the center of my soul---a journey that will no doubt teach me who I am as a person and what my purpose is in life. This will not be an easy journey to take, for it will require that I strip myself bare of all thought and feeling; that I take a good hard look at where I’ve been and where I’m going---the choices I’ve made, the people I’ve helped and I’ve hurt---and atone for the sins I’ve committed. For it is only when you lie prone and naked before the altar of total awareness that you can even begin to scratch the surface of your own personal truth.

To complete a journey like this, there can be only one guide---the trusted teacher who constantly pushes you to become better; who challenges your limits and forces you to focus on the pain and let it become your pulse, your life blood, your umbilical cord. Like Yoda to Luke Skywalker, Mr. Miyagi to Daniel LaRusso, and the tiger, crane, and dragon to Kwai Chang Caine---my journey will be guided by a wise and patient master. Three masters, actually. Three young spirits who have lived a million lifetimes in their few years on our great Earth and who (through divine example) have taught a legion of others before me the importance of living by the code, “flip tab a du op.”

Isaac, Taylor, and Zack Hanson are spiritual visionaries. And their simple and life-affirming message of hope, “MMMBop,” is a beacon to all who search for a greater truth and an answer to that eternal question, “When you get old and start losing your hair, can you tell me who will still care?”

Indeed.

So for 8 hours this Friday, I will walk in the footsteps of my monastic brethren, lock myself away from the temptations of this hedonistic world, and meditate to a continuous loop of the innocent wonder that is “MMMBop.” And in the end, with Hanson as my guide, I will know what I am meant to be. I will know the answers to the questions of the ages. I will know who will still care, du daba du op.

[Rafe]

I know a very reputable dealer, and a couple of incredibly gifted Belgian farmers who can create the most outrageously hallucenogenic/mind-blowing "real" absinthe, just in case the spiritual route proves a little too difficult. I mean, that little guy is one monumentally shit drummer, so who could blame you?

That aside, the very best of luck, whigsgeek!

[whigsgeek]

Start Time: 9:03 a.m.
Number of Listens: 03
Chakra Color: yellow
Mood: enlightened

I have seen the light and it is Hanson. Such a dark and rainy day and yet here are these three nubile sprites from Tulsa shining their MMMBop light into my heart. It makes me so joyful and warm in the light of the Lord that I had to make me some waffles. Worship is always better with waffles.

[whigsgeek]

TortureThon Time: 33 minutes
Number of Listens: 08
Chakra Color: yellow
Mood: full tummy = happy

Ahhhhh, the wisdom of youth. Only 13-years-old and already the Hansons know that "you have so many relationships in this life, only one or two will last." Maybe this is what one learns growing up on a farm, where sending cows to slaughter is a way of life. "Don't get too attached to Bessie," I imagine Pappy Hanson telling his young brood. "We'll be eating her come Independence Day." I'm not even sure Hanson grew up on a farm, but what else do they have in Tulsa?

[whigsgeek]

TortureThon Time: 50 minutes
Number of Listens: 11
Chakra Color: yellowish
Mood: sanctimonious

I just think it's super that Taylor Hanson's two brothers cast their egos aside and allowed her to sing lead vocals. It's so important these days for teenage girls to develop a strong identity and a positive self-image. She will certainly grow up to be a special young woman. With that long blonde hair and those blue eyes, she's going to be quite a catch for the right spiritually grounded and reverent young man.

[aside to offline voice]What's that you say?[/aside]

*blink*

Well ... *hmph* ... I certainly hope he doesn't grow up to be some sort of fag.

[whigsgeek]

TortureThon Time: 1 hour, 17 minutes
Number of Listens: 17
Chakra Color: orange
Mood: brimming with pride

Oh how very exciting. The Hansons are heading to Hollywood! Their documentary, Strong Enough to Break, has been selected for the 10th Annual Hollywood Film Festival. Apparently the film tells the riveting story of the boys' valiant (and righteous) struggle against the forces of evil at Island/DefJam Records. Their forty-month fight (much like the forty days and nights during which Noah fought the flood) tested their faith as well as their familial bond.

We all know that greed makes the baby Jesus cry. How proud I am of them for standing up for their values and beliefs in an industry teeming with sin and temptation. Stay strong, young warriors of the soul. Paradise awaits you.

[trixi]

I'm not even sure Hanson grew up on a farm, but what else do they have in Tulsa?

Oil, that is, black gold, texas tea

[whigsgeek]

I'm not even sure Hanson grew up on a farm, but what else do they have in Tulsa?

Oil, that is, black gold, texas tea

Good Lord, there's actually someone out there reading!

[Megs79]

I can't believe that all 3 hanson brothers are married.  The oldest (and ugliest) just tied the knot.  The middle one has 3 (yes, three) children at the tender age of 23.

[whigsgeek]

TortureThon Time: 1 hour, 39 minutes
Number of Listens: 22
Chakra Color: orange
Mood: giddy as a school girl

I just called the Hanson Hotline! Praise Jesus, it's like a lifeline into heaven. To hear a real-live taped message from four months ago makes me feel so connected ... like a Hanson insider, or "Hinsider" if you will. I can't wait to call again tomorrow.

[Kwyjibo]

Hanson's last album actually wasn't half bad.  Not terribly deep in the lyric department, but not half bad.  If they ever stop writing lyrics like they're twelve I think they might actually have something.

[Butter]

like a Hanson insider, or "Hinsider" if you will.

Gold.

[whigsgeek]

TortureThon Time: 1 hour, 52 minutes
Number of Listens: 25
Chakra Color: cantaloupe
Mood: teethtastic

I quite enjoy the scratching on this record ... it's almost like I'm listening to Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. Which just goes to show those hip-hop heathens, you can scratch some beats and still love the Lord (Leviticus 5:39).

[whigsgeek]

TortureThon Time: 2 hour, 08 minutes
Number of Listens: 29
Chakra Color: mountain berry red
Mood: Bono-rific

Learning that Bono hailed "MMMBop" as "genius" to CD:UK is even greater validation than if it had been chiseled on a pair of stone tablets by God himself.

[Wherle]

Hanson are Christian rock? I honestly had no idea.