Sex Shooter by Apollonia 6

[rva]

Yes, that's right.  As a special bonus I will also be attempting to tackle 8 hours worth of Apollonia 6's "Sex Shooter."

Why?  Mainly because I'm an idiot.  But I'd also like to earn my PhD in Musicology, and I can't think of a better thesis subject than to solve why the mystery behind why "Sex Shooter" sucks so bad.

Prince was surrounded by insane amounts of talent.  You want a girl group, why not Wendy, Lisa, and Sheila E.?  They all look good.  They all sing.  They're amazing musicians.  They are also sitting on their asses because you won't let them play on Purple Rain.  We can toss Sheena Easton into the mix, too.

You know who else is sitting on their asses?  Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis.  They don't get to play on The Time, and they're about to quit that band so they can produce multi-platinum albums for Janet Jackson.

Prince could easily have fobbed this off to his entourage, and it would have been a CLASSIC record.  Instead, he chose to handle it himself with his own handpicked protege.  But if he cares that much, why does it suck?  Apollonia actually sounds pretty good on "Take Me With U"  so we know he's genius enough to make this work. 

As far as I can tell, Prince must have had "Glamorous Life," "Nothing Compares 2 U," and "Manic Monday" already written or partially written.  So it's not even like Apollonia even got to use Prince's throwaway B-level stuff. 

Is there something I'm missing that makes "Sex Shooter" actually a hidden gem?  Or did Prince deliberately sabotage the album?  Questions that need answering.

[cuddlyevil]

Are we going to have to have a side benefit for your therapy bills? I don't see how anyone can withstand either song for 8 hours without a complete loss of sanity.

[vizzah]

I can't hear this song without thinking of C_lando.  If I remember correctly, she lip-synched and did a little dance to this in her grade school talent show. 

[MissKitty]

That is HOT.

[Poncho]

[c-lando]

I can't hear this song without thinking of C_lando.  If I remember correctly, she lip-synched and did a little dance to this in her grade school talent show. 

Hahahaha. Yes. I was in grade school at the time (maybe 4th or 5th grade!?!?), but we performed (AND WON!) at the local YMCA talent show. And let me tell you, the competition was FIERCE! There were about 6 breakdancing groups and US. But, we were the only girls who participated. I'm not sure if that did the trick or not. We totally didn't wear any lingerie, but we tarted up our make-up something scary. Oh, and the key prop for authenticity was a big stuffed teddy bear. If you know anything about Apollonia 6, you'll know that Susan always carried that thing around. Also, we had the dance moves PERFECTED. I can still do the "I'm a Sex Shooter, shootin' love in your directioooooooon" moves upon request. (Christian, please make note of this for The Greg)

I wish I could go back in my adult frame of mind and watch the faces of all of the mentors/counselors/employees who were there to supervise the talent show. I'm sure the looks would have been priceless.

Good luck, RVA. Try doing a few of the steps for me.

[cuddlyevil]

Good luck, RVA. Try doing a few of the steps for me.

Then post video of your attempt on youtube because I want to see it 

[rva]

I will be sharing my thoughts on the Sex Shooter dance moves (yes, I know them) as well as Apollonia, Susan and Brenda and many other proteges once the torture commences.

[rva]

Holy crap!


http://www.youtube.com/v/VpkIKTf0AgQ

[rva]

Part two:

http://www.youtube.com/v/GdnYUtPlU_Y

[rva]

Part 3:

http://www.youtube.com/v/fZ5PvkK91gw

[c-lando]

Holy shit. How do I still know EVERY word to "Ooh-she-she-wa-wa"? That's fucking gubernatorial total recall, Man.

BTW, Brenda always scared the shit out of me. Was she supposed to be the world's sexiest bully?

[rva]

No way!  Brenda was the coolest.  She was the only one of the three that actually had a voice and could sing a bit, but she was stuck with the worst gimmick.  Apollonia had the charisma to make up for her somewhat weak voice.  Vanity was pants. Susan was useless and she had that trannie-look that was popular back them.