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Author Topic: Bar wars, those crazy bar wars  (Read 8617 times)
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rva
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« on: June 08, 2006, 11:40:54 PM »
How to start a bar fight

British dick:  Hey mate, I see you like the music.  Know wot?  It's my cd.  I bet you Yanks couldn't name any of these artists.

Covert American Hipster Smartass:  Can I have three guesses?

BD:  Sure.

CAHS:  U2?

BD:  No!!  U2 are IRISH, can't you tell the accents apart? (to BD friends) He thinks it's U2!! hahahaha! (uproarious laughter)

CAHS:  oh.. well then INXS?

BD:  F*ck INXS.  They're Australian.  What's wrong with you?!?

CAHS: The Libertines, Arctic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand and The Streets.  eh, wot?  Pip pip.  Cheerio!
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Ella Minnow Pea
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« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2006, 11:44:17 PM »
Once again, your bar stories crack me up. Of course, even I know those British artists.

Hee.
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also known as rcc94
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« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2006, 08:43:00 AM »
I heard the Pip Pip Cheerios are a rockin' band!  Or they should be! \Cheesy/
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cuddlyevil
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« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2006, 09:14:53 AM »
If this is a true story rva, you'll permanently be my hero.
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Jonathan
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« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2006, 09:53:56 AM »
What, you mean he's not already your permanent hero?
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"I believe that in the long view of history, the British Empire will be remembered only for two things. The game of football, and the expression 'fuck off.'" - Sir Richard Turnbull
rva
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« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2006, 01:28:08 AM »
Tonight's addition:

Attractive Young Lady With Whom I Had Been Getting Along with Swimmingly:  So you play tennis?  I love tennis.  And badminton.

Drunken RVA:  I cannot be defeated in a racquet sport.  *Loudly, to bar*  I canNOT be defeated in a racquet sport!

AYLWWHIBGAWS: *silence*

DRVA:  I see you do not appreciate the absurd humor of me bragging about something as inconsequential as say, ping pong or badminton.

AYLWWHIBGAWS:  So you're joking?

DRVA:  Yes.  Well, No. I mean I really can beat anyone here in any racquet sport.  *sensing failure*  And Disintegration is the best Cure album by FAR.  And Sigur Ros sucks.  

bartender:  You know, I introduce you to people but you're starting to cost me tips.

DRVA:  Do YOU think you can beat me in a racquet sport?  Because you're WRONG.  Lemme get an order of cheese fries to go, and another pitcher of Bass.
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clemsonfan
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« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2006, 08:25:43 AM »
Sometimes you really sound like Butter's lost twin.
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Well.......
monkey neck
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« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2006, 10:53:27 AM »
Help yourself, man.
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Jeff
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« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2006, 11:24:51 AM »
3 times now I've clicked on this thinking it said "Bear wars".  The last 2 times, right after I clicked it, I knew it had nothing to do with bears and I became sad.
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berzerker
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« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2006, 04:52:38 PM »
Quote from: "Bride of Watusi"
I heard the Pip Pip Cheerios are a rockin' band!  Or they should be! \Cheesy/


they stay crunchy, even in milk!
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ny day now how's about
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« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2006, 10:22:33 PM »
a bear war would be awesome!
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« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2006, 02:24:53 AM »
Quote from: "rva"

bartender:  You know, I introduce you to people but you're starting to cost me tips.


Your bartender is also a crack-up.
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Butter
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« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2006, 08:05:47 AM »
I wish it were something about the Boer Wars.  Then I could start talking Afrikaans.
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Jonathan
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« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2006, 09:34:25 AM »
Quote from: "Butter"
Then I could start talking Afrikaans.

It's not all it's cracked up to be.
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"I believe that in the long view of history, the British Empire will be remembered only for two things. The game of football, and the expression 'fuck off.'" - Sir Richard Turnbull
rva
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« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2006, 01:15:07 AM »
Poseury-hot-topic-looking-chick:  Hey, are you hungry?  Do you want some cheese fries?
RVA:  What? aww, no.  I'm good, but thanks.

(five minutes pass)

*RVA is pelted with a dirty napkin*

RVA: huh?
PHTLC's friend:  How come you don't want cheese fries?
RVA:  ummm... I'm just, I'm you know.  I'm good.  But thank you very much for the offer.
Bar regular:  Was that a flirt?  Because it was kind of a weird one.  I'm not sure I want it, but still how come no one does that to me?
RVA:  Because I got game.  Anyone can pull some phone numbers.  I can walk into any bar and pull forty dirty napkins.  Gauranteed.

(PHLTC and company leave)

RVA:  Hey, let me get an order of cheese fries.
Bartender:  Dude...
RVA:  And a pitcher of bass.
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