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Randomville! => Main Street => Topic started by: Butter on June 01, 2004, 12:15:37 PM

Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on June 01, 2004, 12:15:37 PM
So, yeah, I've moved the whole Ethan story thing over here since most of you know who I'm talking about.

Anyway, on the way back from South Carolina this weekend, we stop at a Hardee's for Ethan to use the restroom.

Ethan is just tall enough to use some urinals, and this one was close.  But he ALWAYS wants to use the urinal if there is one instead of the toilet, so I say "well, let's see if you're tall enough."  I put him up to the thing and he pulls down his pants, and it looks like he's just barely tall enough.  So I say "OK, go ahead and use it."  He starts going.  In the middle of this, a guy walks in and goes in the 1 adjacent toilet stall.

So Ethan finishes and I say "stand over here, Ethan, I have to go too."  So he's standing next to me and since he likes to repeat things, he says "let's see if you're tall enough, dada."  Then, right after I start going, he raises his hand to try and show me how tall I am.  He of course can't reach the top of my head.  And then, really loud, right after I start using the bathroom, Ethan decides to say "Dada, you're so BIG!"

I start laughing and the guy in the stall quickly gets out before I can even see his face.  

I know, I know, I have an extremely sick mind, but this goes to show you that kids are AWESOME.
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on June 01, 2004, 12:21:26 PM
can't.stop.laughing.
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: Jonathan on June 01, 2004, 01:04:39 PM
You sir, have one clever son.

Great story.
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: redbobsled on June 01, 2004, 01:17:57 PM
Yay!  Some kids are just awesome.
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: MissKitty on June 01, 2004, 01:56:22 PM
Thanks for giving me a great laugh Buttah! :lol:
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on June 01, 2004, 02:24:54 PM
Mother of God that is one funny kid.
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: thepsychicpoirot on June 01, 2004, 05:15:56 PM
While we're sharing kid stories...
My son is 2 years old in two weeks.  He was breastfed and has an undie-ing fascination with boobs.  It's to the point that I'm a bit worried.  Here's why:

At home, anytime Aaron sees his mom without her shirt on, he says "beeb, beep!" and reaches for the boobs.  He'll grab them if he's close enough.  Sometimes at night, we'll be trying to get him down to sleep and mom will be laying next to him.  He'll try to pull her shirt and reach in to "beep, beep!" 'em.  

I didn't realize how obscessed he was with tits until we were in the record store the other day.  There was a poster of Lil' Kim, with a waist-high shot of her with her boobs out, pasties fully in place.  Aaron walks up to her and goes "beep, beep!' and starts smacking them.  He walks a few feet over to the Jessica Simpson poster, smacks her boobs and goes "beep, beep!" again.  

The girl working the counter, whom I know really well, is oblivious to what's going on.  I'm simultaneously laughing and getting embarrassed at the same time.  She sees Aaron and walks around the counter, then reaches down to pick Aaron up to play.  I grab him, just as he's reaching out to cop a feel.  I scooped him up and said something like "uhh...he pooped.  We better go change that" and left.  We're now trying to divert his attention anyway we know how, before things get out of hand.

Good to know he's a boob-man like dad, though.
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on June 01, 2004, 05:33:06 PM
I think your kid needs therapy.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Hell Toupee on June 01, 2004, 11:53:15 PM
Quote from: "Butter"
And then, really loud, right after I start using the bathroom, Ethan decides to say "Dada, you're so BIG!".


Kids are great at exaggeration at that age, aren't they...

 :P

Would've been a better story if he followed it up with 'Me hit your face!' though.

-ct
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on June 02, 2004, 08:29:29 AM
Quote
We're now trying to divert his attention anyway we know how, before things get out of hand.


Good luck with that.  Kids that are breast-fed have a special attachment to boobies, and they find it hard to lose their interest in them.
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: foolsgold on June 02, 2004, 08:50:20 AM
Quote from: "Butter"
Good luck with that.  Kids that are breast-fed have a special attachment to boobies, and they find it hard to lose their interest in them.


Ain't that the tits...I mean, truth.
Title: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on June 02, 2004, 10:14:28 AM
Ok here's my contribution. Ethan has been obsessed with growing up and being a big boy lately. So a few weeks ago when I was giving him a bath I said " Now let's wash your little pee-pee." Yes the boys call it a pee-pee and I added little as a term of endearment.

Well Ethan yells out "Mama, I not have a little pee-pee. I'm a big boy. I have a big pee-pee."

Already obsessed with his penis size.  :roll:
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on November 28, 2007, 08:48:20 AM
This thread needs more stories...
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on November 28, 2007, 11:41:30 AM
Ethan was complaining last night that he's never going to get married.

We used to babysit this girl named Maurissa.  We haven't had her in well over a year now, but Ethan still talks about her and how he is going to marry her.  But now his outlook has changed.  He claimed last night that even if he could find Maurissa in a few years, that she would probably already have a boyfriend.  And that even if she didn't have a boyfriend, she probably wouldn't want to marry Ethan.  Ethan seemed genuinely distraught at the possibility of spending his life alone.  We tried to assure him that there would be no need to fuss about it now.  Why, Mama and I didn't find each other until I was 22, I told Ethan. 

Ethan said, "yes, but I'm not going to marry Emma either."  He ignores what we say a lot.  Emma is a 9 year old up the street that Ethan sees a lot and likes, but claims he does not like as a girlfriend.  I say, why does it have to be limited to just Emma and Maurissa?  He might find another girl some other time.

He says that Emma and Maurissa are the only girls on his to-do list.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: cuddlyevil on November 28, 2007, 11:46:08 AM
OMG, I love Ethan stories.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on November 28, 2007, 12:00:55 PM

He says that Emma and Maurissa are the only girls on his to-do list.

I actually busted out laughing in the van last night when Ethan said this last night. I love his choice of words.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on November 28, 2007, 12:08:34 PM
I am trying to clean the house this week and Alex wants to help me. So I started throwing a bunch of junk in a trash bag and he's following me around protesting every pitch.

"But I really need that paper towel roll! It's for the legos!"

"You can't throw that away! I might see something in those that I want to get you for Christmas!" (this in reference to a stack of old ads I was pitching)

"I can use that old ziploc bag for a project!"

After a while he had enough and yelled: "I'm going to write in my diary about this!"
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: whigsgeek on November 28, 2007, 12:11:15 PM
He says that Emma and Maurissa are the only girls on his to-do list.

Gold.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: cuddlyevil on November 28, 2007, 02:34:49 PM
After a while he had enough and yelled: "I'm going to write in my diary about this!"

LOL, he's just full of great lines isn't he?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on November 28, 2007, 04:01:26 PM
My personal favorite Ethan story was the time when he was trying to convince players on the opposing soccer team to stay away from the ball so that he wouldn't have to run the field.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: scurvygirl on November 28, 2007, 10:19:23 PM
Hehe my favorite was the cow takeaway story, but the to-do list had me laughing out loud.  That's hilarious.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on February 11, 2008, 11:51:04 AM
A couple weeks back, Ethan got in his head that he was going to be in the school's talent show.  I sat through 2 hours of horrific Hannah Montana renditions last year to wait for Ethan's entire class to sing "God Bless America", so I wanted to discourage this as strongly as possible.

"What would your talent be?" we asked.

"Singing," Ethan decided.

We told him that no, he couldn't even be bothered to help his class with God Bless America last year, there's no way he would sing a whole song by himself this year.

OK, he would think of something else and get back to us.

A few hours later....

"I know what my talent is going to be!"
"What," we asked disapprovingly.

"Mime!"

I'm sorry, what?

"Mime, you know" and then he proceeds to do a rough interpretation of the I'm-trapped-in-a-box routine.

Now, far be it from me to tell my son he is well on his way to being beaten repeatedly in future grades.  I am not going to crush his dreams and hopes by way of making sure he's popular.  I want him to be happy, but in his own way, not in a way I tell him to be.  Mime, however....

"Show me your routine," I demand.  I watch intently as my wife stifles and then tries to recover from a hysterical laughing fit out of earshot.

He then proceeds to mime a little something that appeared to be a guy who sees his girlfriend from far off and was completely in love.  Or, it could have been a guy extremely happy to be having a heart attack.  He mimes this for about 10 seconds and that's it.

"Ethan, that's not bad.  But you have to come up with a whole routine that lasts a couple of minutes.  Can you do that?"

He vows to work on it.

The deadline for auditioning for the talent show comes and goes with not another word about it.

I have rarely been so relieved.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on February 11, 2008, 11:56:27 AM
Ethan really is starting to remind me of a young David Sedaris. Especially since he starting seeing the speech therapist at school from time to time.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: va-vacious on February 11, 2008, 09:41:20 PM
please, I need more Ethan stories!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Poncho on February 12, 2008, 11:36:20 AM
I like this kid's moxie.  Excellent!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: rva on February 12, 2008, 12:41:52 PM
Man, I don't even know how you guys raise kids.  By my calculations, it would take at least two more generations of stunted development and misery before the RVA family line can raise a normal person.  Even longer than that if you are not the youngest in the family or not the offspring of one.  Like take the talent show example.  This is how I would imagine it goes down:

My grandfather:  That is for lazy people.  Why can't you just concentrate on school?

My elder Uncles:  Miming?  um, hell no.  But I'll think of something for you to do that looks good on a college application.  You won't be good at it, and they'll laugh at you, but I don't want to hear you cry about it.  How do you think it makes me feel, knowing my offspring are a laughingstock?  I'm doing this for you.  These are the sacrifices we have to make to compensate for your uselessness.

My dad:  Okay.  But I'm sending you to mime school.  And you're going to mime for me half an hour every night, and you better be the best mimer in the class or I'm sending you to karate.  And I don't want to see your grades drop.

My sister:  Okay.  But you're going to mime school.  And I'm going to mime school with you to help you out.  It'll be fun.  YES.  IT. WILL. BE. FUN.

Me:  Sounds cool.  Do what you want.  Whatever.  You'll learn to mime or you won't.  If people laugh at you, well-- that's a life lesson for you.  What, mime school?  Sure, go find a good one or whatever and I'll pay for it.  Or don't.  I don't care.  If you want feedback on your performance, I'll tell you honestly.  So don't ask if you don't want to know (and my advice to you is not to ask).
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on February 12, 2008, 01:34:10 PM
Quote
If you want feedback on your performance, I'll tell you honestly.  So don't ask if you don't want to know (and my advice to you is not to ask).
Hahahahaah.

My parents just would have said, "Do we have to pay any money for this?"
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: MissKitty on February 12, 2008, 02:47:04 PM
RVA, I'm more convinced now than ever that we are related.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on March 26, 2008, 02:55:13 PM
Time for another installment of Ethan stories.

Last night was the 2nd grade Spring Program at Ethan's school. Everyone was all dressed up in their best attire. Here's a picture of Ethan in his classroom right before the program:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v633/agprice98/IMG_1604.jpg)

So, we get to the next to the last song and Ethan starts coughing. After the first cough, I didn't really think anything. But then he kept coughing. Gary and I looked at each other worried. The last song starts and Ethan coughed a little more. Uh-oh. Then he sits down on the risers. (He was in the middle row of the risers.) The next thing I know, Gary says "He's just threw up! Go up there now!" So up I go on the stage and the teachers sitting right next to the risers hadn't noticed it yet. I said "Ethan threw up!" The principal comes up and takes Ethan and a girl off the risers. Ethan threw up all over this girl.

It certainly wasn't a boring show.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on March 26, 2008, 02:56:47 PM
Oh, Man. I'm sure he was DREADING going to school today. :(
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on March 26, 2008, 02:58:44 PM
He was. He was crying last night about it. He said he wasn't teased today about it. I know the principal talked to the 2nd graders today about not teasing him so we'll see how that goes. The principal gave Ethan a "job" to do during the talk so he would be out of the room during it.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: foolsgold on March 26, 2008, 03:16:20 PM
Poor guy, that has to be a tough thing to bounce back from, but it sounds like he hit the lottery with a really compassionate principal.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on March 26, 2008, 03:19:37 PM
The principal really likes the kids there. Since I volunteer there all the time, he has sort of taken Ethan and Alex under his wing.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: cuddlyevil on March 26, 2008, 03:23:19 PM
Aw, poor Ethan. He looks so grown up in that picture!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: kcneon on March 26, 2008, 03:32:50 PM
Aw, poor Ethan. He looks so grown up in that picture!
Totally.  I feel for him.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: rva on March 26, 2008, 04:11:11 PM
Can I take Ethan to a bar?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Poncho on March 26, 2008, 05:56:51 PM
Where are the pictures from the event?  That's what everyone was looking for.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Bronzetree on March 26, 2008, 07:51:48 PM
It's like looking at a miniature Gary. Eerie. Hope he's feeling better.

And ditto what foolsgold said. It's not often you find a principal that goes that extra mile.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Ella Minnow Pea on March 26, 2008, 09:28:56 PM
Can I take Ethan to a bar?
And that might generate the best story ever posted on these boards.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: va-vacious on March 26, 2008, 10:14:11 PM
Poor Ethan!  And he looked so cute and grown up in his outfit! 

What a great principal to take the time to make sure that Ethan wasn't tormented today.  Just throwing up at school was bad enough, I can't imagine what it would have been like to have been in that situation. :(
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Buzzstein on March 26, 2008, 11:01:52 PM
Can I take Ethan to a bar?

Yeah, you could teach the kid how to drink!  One is never too young to learn.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: whigsgeek on March 26, 2008, 11:16:54 PM
Since everyone has the compassionate-response route covered by this point, I'll just say that I'm looking forward to 15 years from now when Ethan has joined us on Rville and we can bumpity this thread every now and then to torment him. ;) :)

(I do feel for the poor little guy. I went bowling with friends at age 12; one of said friends made me laugh while drinking Mountain Dew; I choked, started coughing, and, ultimately, puked all over the floor of our bowling lane. Awk-ward!)
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Megs79 on March 27, 2008, 11:02:57 AM
(I do feel for the poor little guy. I went bowling with friends at age 12; one of said friends made me laugh while drinking Mountain Dew; I choked, started coughing, and, ultimately, puked all over the floor of our bowling lane. Awk-ward!)

The same thing happened to me, except with coke and it was at our favorite deli/ice cream/coffee shop, like 13 years ago, and my friends STILL bring it up sometimes. 
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: vizzah on March 27, 2008, 11:23:14 AM
Same here.  I hurled violently once after eating a hot fudge sundae @ Frisch's.  That was well over 20 years ago, and my mom *still* won't let me order one if we eat there because she thinks I'll vomit.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: eyeball on March 28, 2008, 12:17:12 AM
It's like looking at a miniature Gary. Eerie.

I was going to say the same thing!

poor kid.  I hope he is feeling better and they keep not teasing him.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on April 15, 2008, 03:56:22 PM
This one is an Alex story.

So I walked to pick up Alex from school today. I brought along my mp3 player since I was walking alone on the way there. Alex comes up to me and asks me "Are we driving or did you walk?"
"We're walking today. It's too nice outside to drive."
So, Alex proceeds to cry and fuss. After a little bit Alex notices my mp3 player.
"Can I listen to music?"
"If I let you listen to my mp3 player on the way home, will you walk nicely?"
"Uh-huh"

So Alex was rockin' out to The Hives' "Main Offender" on the way home from school.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Poncho on April 16, 2008, 11:07:09 AM
This kid is not as cool as Ethan.  If they were in a cagematch, I would root for Ethan.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on April 16, 2008, 03:50:09 PM
Do parents really NOT have a favorite child?

I still don't believe that stuff.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on April 17, 2008, 07:25:15 AM
Do parents really NOT have a favorite child?

I still don't believe that stuff.

I don't have a favorite.  I did for a while, but the other one has made a comeback.  I don't know about Andrea.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Doug on April 17, 2008, 07:44:47 AM
Music makes everything better :)

I have a favorite right now too, but like Butter says, they do make comebacks.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Cockney Rebel on April 17, 2008, 07:54:21 AM
Can you ever make a comeback if you're an only child.

I'm asking "for a friend"
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on April 17, 2008, 08:34:27 AM
Can you ever make a comeback if you're an only child.

I'm asking "for a friend"

Don't call it a comeback. You've been here for years.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on April 17, 2008, 09:08:12 AM
I don't have a favorite. They both get on my nerves equally.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Doug on April 17, 2008, 10:03:40 AM
Heh.... :D
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on April 18, 2008, 12:54:49 PM
Alright, this isn't an Ethan nor an Alex story. It's a Miranda story. I'm babysitting for a close friend today. Miranda turns 5 next month.


So I go into my bathroom and notice a big brown smudge on one of our new bath towels. I thought: is that poo? So I smelled it. Yep, it was streaks of poo. I quickly remembered that the last one in the bathroom was Miranda and she was in there for a pretty long time.

"Miranda, did you wipe your bottom on my towel?"
"No....." (with a scared lying face)
"Miranda, don't lie to me."
"I won't do it again! I couldn't find the toilet paper!"
"There was a stack of toilet paper under the toilet paper holder. You should have asked me for help if you didn't know what to do. Miranda, that's just plain nasty."

So off I go to wash the towel in hot water and call Gary to tell him what had happened to his towel.

This is just like a David Sedaris story.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: va-vacious on April 18, 2008, 05:01:35 PM
1. Isn't it great that you know when kids are lying because they often have "lying face"?
2. Are you telling her mother? 'Cause, ewwww!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on April 18, 2008, 05:14:38 PM
Yeah, I told her Mom.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: scurvygirl on April 19, 2008, 09:11:24 AM

This is just like a David Sedaris story.

Haha, it SO is. 

I loved when they incorporated it into Strangers With Candy, too.

"I was in a hurry!"
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on July 28, 2008, 09:02:47 AM
Ok, as we were walking to the Reds game yesterday, we passed several street musicians. Ethan does something to one of them and I asked "What did you just do?" he replies that he gave the guy the "peace out sign". I asked him to show me.

He proceeded to thump his chest with his fist and then give a peace sign with his palm facing towards himself.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v633/agprice98/Gary%2033rd%20birthday/IMG_1898.jpg)

I knew CR would love this sign so I made him do it at the game for him.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Cockney Rebel on July 28, 2008, 09:13:53 AM
Don't forget E's other little comment in response to you going on vacation
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on July 28, 2008, 09:27:44 AM
Oh, yeah! I was telling people about Butter and I planning on going to Hilton Head Island for a week in August. I went on to explain that we are dropping off Ethan and Alex at my Mom's on the way and they were going to stay there for the week. Foolsgold replied "Nice."

Ethan enthusiastically says "yeah, it is nice!"

So, yeah Ethan is looking forward to a week without us just as much as we are looking forward to a week without him.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: kcneon on July 28, 2008, 07:41:50 PM
LOL - you got yourselves a live wire there!   :D
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: va-vacious on July 28, 2008, 08:14:49 PM
Both those stories made me laugh out loud!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on August 23, 2010, 08:03:09 AM
On our way down to pick up the kids from South Carolina on Thursday, the 12th, we called the kids to give them some instructions about what to do in preparation for us leaving from there for Disney World the next day.

Before I get too far, I should mention that Andrea's new car, a 2010 Hyundai Elantra, has built-in Bluetooth, so we were on speakerphone with them in the car.

Ethan gets on the phone, and Andrea reminds him to "don't forget to charge your DS tonight for tomorrow".

A pause, and Ethan says "huh?"

I say again (a bit louder, but I am on the "microphone" side of the Bluetooth) "She said don't forget to charge your DS tonight!"

Ethan says "Oh."  Another pause... he says "I thought for a second that you had said 'shit' but then I heard you the 2nd time, so ok."

We both pause for a second and look at each other and I immediately start cracking up.  I motion to Andrea to just let it go because we aren't 100% sure that he said "shit" to us, but I am over 90% sure.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on August 25, 2010, 02:16:26 PM
Ethan sang us a song he came up with in the shower last night.  I couldn't really follow it, but the last line was something like "we'll be best friends forever, until we die and decompose".

Top notch.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Doug on August 25, 2010, 02:48:46 PM
Those half-buried hobos in your backyard are starting to influence the kids.  Time to pick another disposal site.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: rva on August 25, 2010, 02:56:00 PM
Ignore.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on May 02, 2011, 12:39:06 PM
Alex asked us "What are CDs" yesterday.

Little bastard.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on July 19, 2011, 08:48:26 AM
"Frontier Psychiatrist" came on in the car during vacation.  C-Fan and I discussed the song briefly, at which point Ethan said "this is one of the songs on my MP3 player."

"Yes," C-Fan said, "your dad put it there."

"It's really annoying."

Fuck you, boy.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on July 19, 2011, 09:00:17 AM
So he no longer finds it "tuney"?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Poolio on July 19, 2011, 10:51:57 AM
You should take that as a challenge. I bet you can find a ton of songs that are more annoying than "Frontier psychiatrist"...
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on July 19, 2011, 10:54:57 AM
You should take that as a challenge. I bet you can find a ton of songs that are more annoying than "Frontier psychiatrist"...

x1,000!!!!!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: eyeball on July 19, 2011, 11:38:43 AM
You should take that as a challenge. I bet you can find a ton of songs that are more annoying than "Frontier psychiatrist"...


tee hee hee hee!!!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Chris on July 19, 2011, 11:11:16 PM
You should take that as a challenge. I bet you can find a ton of songs that are more annoying than "Frontier psychiatrist"...


"Sandwiches"  :disco:
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Ella Minnow Pea on July 19, 2011, 11:51:08 PM
Back from hiatus.

Yay! You're back!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: MissKitty on July 20, 2011, 08:57:31 AM
Back from hiatus.

Yay! You're back!

x2!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Dan on July 20, 2011, 09:59:52 AM
Who is Chris? HT?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on July 20, 2011, 10:34:31 AM
Yes
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Juliana on July 20, 2011, 10:34:39 AM
So he no longer finds it "tuney"?

I wanted to throw in and say that this makes me so sad.
Kwyj and I still joke about things being "tuney"

oh, and
WB Chris!!!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Dan on July 20, 2011, 10:40:03 AM
Welcome back Chris.

It's moments like this where you guys all know each other in person when I sometimes feel dumb and like an outsider.

Then I look at my post count and do a facepalm.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Cockney Rebel on July 20, 2011, 12:16:24 PM
Welcome back Chris. WTFs been going on?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Chris on July 20, 2011, 01:11:27 PM
Two deaths, totalled my car, kidney stones needing an op, and assorted other stuff. Needed some time. Things to fill a couple FABO threads, but enough hogging of Ethans thread... has he found a hobo buried in the backyard yet?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on May 28, 2013, 07:45:26 AM
Ethan had his 13th birthday party over the weekend.  I believe this is 3 or 4 years in a row that we've let him have a sleepover, because his friends tend to be much less crazy than Alex's.

Anyway, this one kid, let's call him "Billy" (to avoid any Kwyjibo/random date/fat joke issues), we'd never met before.  His mom calls C-Fan beforehand and talks about how awesome it is that Ethan is having him over, and how excited Billy is, and thanks so much for inviting him.  It's his first sleepover.  Great, we think.  So what.

Well, this kid shows up, and... he's a little off.  I don't think I saw him smile once during the party.  I think he is, as they say, "on the spectrum".  He is also a year behind Ethan, but rides Ethan's bus.  The other 2 sleepover guests are your standard issue 12-13 year olds. 

So, we take these 4 kids plus Alex up to Scene 75, which is a massive indoor entertainment complex aimed at kids, tweens, and teens.  And adults too, as there are guys walking around the arcade area with those new aluminum beer bottles.  Anyway, we get the kids their own play cards with $40 on there, which means they can do any activities they want off that card, and it just debits it.  They all decide to do the bounce room, which includes this literally 2 story tall slide that they are targeting.  They spend a half hour in there, and then about 20 minutes later Billy is just standing around.  "Don't you want to do anything?" C-Fan asks him.  He is searching his pockets over and over.  "I lost my card!" he says, with the blank stare that he had basically the whole time.  C-Fan asks him "Where did you see it last?  Do you think it might be in the bounce room?  Maybe in the shoe area?  Where did you have it, do you think?"  Billy stares at her again, and says with slightly more urgency... "I lost my CARD!"  one more time, in case we missed it the first time despite the fact that C-Fan just asked him 3 questions about it.

Sadly, these cards were untraceable so he and we were basically out $20 or whatever he had left on there.  Ethan, being the good friend he is just let the kid share his the rest of the time.  Billy showed some signs of being functional, but it was mostly when he was in front of a screen... he played his DS the whole ride up to the place and back, which is about 20 minutes.  He seemed to speak the language of video games.  But he showed no emotion the whole time.  No joy.  I felt bad for him and his parents.

Then his mom and grandma show up to pick him up, and they're talking about how much more we'll have to do together this summer.  Their kid had finally found a friend and damned if they were going to let it go very easily.  "No we won't be doing a lot of things this summer," I think.  No offense to this kid, but Ethan's got his own problems that take a lot out of us, which usually involve him refusing to do things, and/or yelling at us, and/or having emotional outbursts in unwanted situations.  I don't need an additional child at my house to have to figure out.  I can't crack the one I have.

I'm glad the kid had fun though.  Maybe it'll help him.  Who knows.  It was Lord of the Flies down there after midnight, because C-Fan and I threw in the towel and went to bed, and just gave the kids one rule... "don't leave the house".  Which they totally could have, because we had the white noise machine working overtime to drown out the noise, and slept the sleep of the dead for 7 hours.  They could've easily found the liquor that we hid underneath the produce in the fridge and had a great ol' time.  Or the Crown Royal and Johnnie Walker we bought on our Caribbean Cruise 2 months ago but absent-mindedly left on the counter.  Luckily, these were 12-13 year olds, and not 15-16 year olds, or we would've been totally screwed as far as that goes.  The only thing working for me in that situation is that I know the joy that Alex gets out of tattling on his brother.  If that liquor had been so much as looked at, Alex would've been in our room lickety split trumpeting it like Moses and the Ten Commandments.

What this sleepover did tell me is that if this kid is one of Ethan's best friends, then a)Ethan doesn't have a lot of friends or b)Ethan himself is considered in the "special kid" zone by many of the people at school.  Ethan is definitely borderline.  He has a weird personality that doesn't jibe well with a lot of people.  He tries WAY too hard with kids his own age, and that clinginess just ain't cool.  But there's nothing much we can do for him except be himself and clean up the messes it makes afterwards when things don't work out the way he expected.  He's 13 now.  The cruel worlds of 8th grade and high school await.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on May 28, 2013, 07:55:40 AM
Bonus Alex story: he had another kid's birthday party to go to last night.  We went out to get this other 11 year old kid a present, a card, and a gift bag.  Alex decides on a gift bag that says "Happy 40th Birthday!"  After we had a good, 5-minute long laugh about it in Dollar Tree, I had to put my foot down.  C-Fan was off picking up extra holiday hours at the hospital, and I "just don't think your mom would like that very much."  That's how you shoot things down when you are a parent alone with the children.

I did allow him an ironic "You're a Special Boy!" card clearly meant for preschoolers, but to Alex's horror he discovered later that it said "XO" inside, which in the anti-emotion elementary school world meant death.  "I can't give him a card that says 'Kiss Hug'!"  We settled on Alex working the "XO" into his signature, the X being the end of Alex, and the O being the loop in the P of his last name.

But I think he has already learned an ironic sense of humor, at age 11.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Dan on May 28, 2013, 10:45:38 AM
What this sleepover did tell me is that if this kid is one of Ethan's best friends, then a)Ethan doesn't have a lot of friends or b)Ethan himself is considered in the "special kid" zone by many of the people at school.

Or... maybe he is just a good kid who is trying to reach out to the lonely kid at school.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on May 28, 2013, 10:51:25 AM
What this sleepover did tell me is that if this kid is one of Ethan's best friends, then a)Ethan doesn't have a lot of friends or b)Ethan himself is considered in the "special kid" zone by many of the people at school.

Or... maybe he is just a good kid who is trying to reach out to the lonely kid at school.

C-Fan and I were talking about this.  I suppose that's a possibility.  Ethan just doesn't see differences in people, or doesn't view them as an obstacle at least.  He sees everyone as a potential new friend, and only when he gets turned down many times does he learn the lesson that someone can't (or won't) be a friend.  He craves companionship at all turns, but he often doesn't find much.  He talks about people at school all the time, but then in other times he will talk about sitting by himself at lunch or how he doesn't have any friends.  It's hard to tell how much of that is melodramatic, and how much is reality.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Buzzstein on May 28, 2013, 12:41:00 PM
What this sleepover did tell me is that if this kid is one of Ethan's best friends, then a)Ethan doesn't have a lot of friends or b)Ethan himself is considered in the "special kid" zone by many of the people at school.

Or... maybe he is just a good kid who is trying to reach out to the lonely kid at school.

 I can tell you it's difficult being "different" in school. People don't know how to interact with you and then maybe (like in my case) you don't know how to interact with them. Bad combination. I had zero social skills until after high school. I still have terrible social skills, but I've made a lot of improvement in the past 15 years. I owe a lot to that to you guys and the WOXY boards.

The (perhaps) autistic kid probably has the normal range of emotions but he just can't/doesn't know how to express those emotions.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Zafer Kaya on May 28, 2013, 03:05:51 PM
I think it's quite possible that the parents were talking it up for the kid's benefit and yours.

If he's introverted they probably had to drag him to the party.  So the whole thing might have been as much a strain on them and their kid as it was on you.  Or more.

So they know he was probably acting weird, and that he may have left without saying thank you or looking like he had a good time, which may have offended either you or Ethan.  And they want to encourage their kid to be social.  So they were saying the things a normal kid would say because their kid won't.  You know, the whole "That was FUN.  Wasn't that FUN?" thing.

Also, it's possible that the kid is much better one-on-one than in large group situations if he is introverted.  I know I am.

Also, it's possible that his inert ways are exactly why Ethan likes him.  If you're the kind of kid that sometimes gets your social signals crossed, it's nice sometimes to hang out with someone who doesn't do the social thing.  If Ethan says something weird, this kid is not going to run and tell all his (non-existent) friends, or start picking on him.  He's most likely to simply not respond when he doesn't feel like it or he feels uncomfortable.  Which makes it a way for Ethan to pick up on social skills without consequences.  When the kid perks up a bit, he knows he did something right.  When he ignores him, Ethan can back up and try again.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on May 28, 2013, 04:16:37 PM
Another possibility is that this is the one kid on earth that Ethan feels socially superior to.  I had a friend like that in middle school/first couple of years of high school and I tormented the hell out of him.  Just make sure Ethan isn't doing that, otherwise I'd say it's probably a good thing that he has someone to identify with.  Though I would have to agree that I would not be taking responsibility for him in this manner very often.

I feel for both of them.  I can clearly remember the moment it dawned on me that I had been branded an outcast on the first day of first grade and thinking... "Hey wait... what?  I'm just being myself. That worked in Kindergarten."  All downhill from there, socially.

Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on June 04, 2013, 11:57:49 AM
The other day, we are using baking soda to get some odors out of a stand-alone freezer.  We are talking about this, and Alex pipes in:

"Bacon soda?"

"No, bak-ING soda."

"Aw, I was gonna say bacon soda sounds awesome if we had some!"

And scene.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on June 04, 2013, 12:56:49 PM
YES. The student has become the master.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on June 04, 2013, 02:08:42 PM
Bonus Alex story... the other day we are in the car and looking for somewhere close and healthy to eat.  Only obvious option that C-Fan and I weren't sick of that for some reason sounded great was Chick-Fil-A.

But we haven't been in... well, a long time.  Well over a year at this point.  And when we quit going we made a point about telling the boys why.

So, when I broached it in the car I said "I think we might go to Chick-Fil-A for dinner."

"But, don't they still hate gay people?"  Alex answered.

"Well, yes.  They said they won't discriminate against who they serve but they still give their profits to anti-gay groups, so the owners are anti-gay."

*silence*

Then I start back up, "So should we go there?"

"No!" replies Alex.

I was proud.  Even though I miss that chicken every once in a while.  We had to improvise... the kids got Skyline, C-Fan and I got salads at a local sub place.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Dan on June 04, 2013, 02:50:47 PM
That is a great story - thanks for sharing. I like their resolve.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on June 04, 2013, 02:51:17 PM
I kinda think that if you stop eating/shopping at places based on the owner's politics that you'd probably be forced to stop spending money.  I wouldn't even be able to eat with my parents with whom I disagree on most things.

I thought CFA had backpedaled on the anti-gay thing a bit more than that... wasn't it something along the lines of saying that the corporation doesn't give to anti-gay groups but they do support them with their personal money?  I guess it's a small distinction, and I hate those people still, but I love their chicken. 
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Dan on June 04, 2013, 03:09:47 PM
If you take anything to extremes, yes you are correct. Still it is nice to stand up for what you believe in from time to time. I don't shop at Urban Outfitters anymore. I like to think it's because I am standing up against what their owner believes in, although in truth it's probably because I have outgrown them
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Zafer Kaya on June 04, 2013, 03:24:47 PM
Urban Outfitters is just capitalism personified.  I mean, they put out LGBT-friendly shirts and take crap from conservatives.  Then they pull the shirts and take crap from liberals.  Then they put out LGBT-unfriendly stuff and get bashed, pull that and get bashed again.  Yes, the owner gave money to Santorum.  Then again the CEO was gay (until they fired him for reasons not having to do with gayness).

I have less of a problem with the owner's political donations than I do with the company having this hipster/hippie aesthetic when they are such money-grubbers.  That, most of their stuff is either crap or you can get it somewhere else cheaper.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: dirk on June 04, 2013, 03:39:54 PM
If he wants bacon soda buy him some of this: http://www.amazon.com/Garvys-Bacon-Soda/dp/B008MZGZCW.  Once he has it I'm sure he'll change his mind.

As far as Chik-fil-a, they said they would stop giving money to hate groups, but instead give the money to their charity arm that then gives the money to hate groups.  Basically, they took a step back in hopes that people would just take them at their word.  They still hate the gays.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on June 04, 2013, 03:43:45 PM
I kinda think that if you stop eating/shopping at places based on the owner's politics that you'd probably be forced to stop spending money.

I don't mind if I disagree with a company's politics, as I am sure a good many of them are right-wing to some extent, but if you are going to make a public show about it, then they can go fuck themselves and I can take my money elsewhere.  The statement (http://www.snopes.com/politics/sexuality/chickfila.asp) they released was pretty weak, and they know it... I am sure they are continuing to do what they want.  They essentially wanted to appease the majority who supported a boycott against them due to hate, while continuing to be able to wink at conservatives under the table by not tacitly agreeing to anything specific.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on June 04, 2013, 03:45:47 PM
In case anyone was keeping track, I spent money at Chick-Fil-A last week for the first time since I posted about not eating there any more in one of the food threads. I almost posted about it last week (I kept thinking about it all day), but I didn't think anyone would care. HAHAHA. I've had their food when someone else offered it to me (why throw away food that is already paid for!??!) and I went in there last week for free milkshakes (PEACH SHAKE! We don't have UDF here) but we went to the wrong location during our lunch hour and I was hungry enough to want to eat then and there.

Oops. CRAP. I forgot about The Greg's CFA gift card that I purchased for his Easter basket. Get this - he goes there EVERY WEEKDAY for at least the last 6-8 months because he likes their sweet tea the best (he stopped drinking soda 18 months ago). UUUUUUUUUGH. My protest is pointless, except that it's what my heart tells me to do. I guess I'll treat it like a diet that I cheated on. One mistake doesn't mean I have to give up the whole thing.

Uh....my point was....good job, Butter Family.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on June 04, 2013, 03:49:29 PM
Uh....my point was....good job, Butter Family.

I didn't post it to pat ourselves on the back or make anyone feel bad about what they're doing.  But I did think it was something to share that Alex is developing some sort of internal moral code, that hopefully jibes with the liberal propaganda we've been feeding them for years now.  :)
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on June 04, 2013, 04:14:32 PM
Uh....my point was....good job, Butter Family.

I didn't post it to pat ourselves on the back or make anyone feel bad about what they're doing.  But I did think it was something to share that Alex is developing some sort of internal moral code, that hopefully jibes with the liberal propaganda we've been feeding them for years now.  :)
Oh, I know. I just wanted to congratulate the boys. So, I did. And since you raised them, well done. I didn't feel guilty after I read your post. It just reminded me that I had this internal dialogue with myself last week and felt like this would be a good time to share. Cos I always make things about me.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on June 04, 2013, 04:26:20 PM
They essentially wanted to appease the majority who supported a boycott against them due to hate, while continuing to be able to wink at conservatives under the table by not tacitly agreeing to anything specific.

Yeah, this is what they did alright.  Now I feel guilty because I decided to let it be enough and I started eating there again, though, not nearly as often.  Crap.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: va-vacious on June 04, 2013, 09:41:28 PM
Being in Atlanta there is a CFA on every corner. I can walk to one at work AND to another from my apartment. I haven't officially boycotted, but I don't go there much any more. It does bother me that they are still supporting hate, but like Kwyj said I wouldn't be able to eat/shop anywhere if it was about who supports what. The staff is always so nice at CFA, so I just rationalize that the money I'm paying is going to pay them and not being funneled off to a cause with which I vehemently disagree. I've been twice in the last two months.

Butter and C-fan, good on you for instilling a moral compass in your kids!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on June 05, 2013, 06:49:53 AM
Butter and I have been so close to eating there again lately. Saturday night was the tipping point when we decided that we would go ahead and do it. I was surprised and proud that Alex stopped us. My Mom would be horrified if she knew.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on June 06, 2013, 06:44:08 AM
So on Monday, Ethan and Alex went to a birthday party at Chaos Room (a big video game place). At one part of the party, Ethan started walking around the arcade portion of the place checking all of the games for tokens, tickets and unclaimed prizes. He found a Garmin GPS that someone won at one of the games. No one at the party won it and the mom of the birthday boy told him that he could keep it. We don't need a GPS because Butter and I have one on our phones. So Ethan asked me to sell it on Amazon. It just sold for $79.95! That boy is so lucky sometimes!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on June 06, 2013, 09:16:43 AM
It must be said about this whole Chick-Fil-A thing, that Ethan kept quiet.  I think he was more than willing to look the other way in exchange for a chicken sandwich... just like the rest of the world during the holocaust!!!!  [/hyperbole]
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on August 05, 2013, 12:36:24 PM
Bonus Alex story... the other day we are in the car and looking for somewhere close and healthy to eat.  Only obvious option that C-Fan and I weren't sick of that for some reason sounded great was Chick-Fil-A.

But we haven't been in... well, a long time.  Well over a year at this point.  And when we quit going we made a point about telling the boys why.

So, when I broached it in the car I said "I think we might go to Chick-Fil-A for dinner."

"But, don't they still hate gay people?"  Alex answered.

"Well, yes.  They said they won't discriminate against who they serve but they still give their profits to anti-gay groups, so the owners are anti-gay."

*silence*

Then I start back up, "So should we go there?"

"No!" replies Alex.

I was proud.  Even though I miss that chicken every once in a while.  We had to improvise... the kids got Skyline, C-Fan and I got salads at a local sub place.

As a follow-up, we got proof while the boys were gone last month that Alex would stand up for his beliefs... while Ethan would do what was convenient/most tasty.  When offered to go to Cow Appreciation Day, Alex refused but wouldn't tell his grandma why.  Ethan dressed up as a cow and enjoyed the tasty chicken with little regard for such things as social justice.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on February 19, 2014, 06:26:39 AM
It's hard to believe that Ethan is going into high school next year. We are scheduling his classes for next year now. He's saving his allowance to take his girlfriend to dinner and a movie this weekend. They grow up so fast.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on February 19, 2014, 08:25:28 AM
It's hard to believe that Ethan is going into high school next year. We are scheduling his classes for next year now. He's saving his allowance to take his girlfriend to dinner and a movie this weekend. They grow up so fast.
Especially when you go back to page 1 and see that he was barely tall enough to use the urinal at that point. Aw, I never wanted to be a teacher because I couldn't imagine watching the kids get older and move on (now I realize that I would have relished the end of each school year). I have no idea what it would be like to be a parent and watch the childhood of your kids just fly by.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: MissKitty on February 19, 2014, 08:45:39 AM
They do grow up so fast. It seems like only yesterday Ethan was discussing the cow takeaway. Now he's got a girlfriend and getting ready for high school. Dang.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on February 19, 2014, 10:16:36 AM
Realizing that I am probably going to have to nuke some of the stories out of this thread once Ethan discovers this site... you know, for self-esteem reasons.  He has his own facebook now (which apparently mostly consists of liking things that say "like this or suffer 7 years of bad luck"), so it's probably only a matter of time.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on February 19, 2014, 10:17:02 AM
And I will have to nuke that post.  But not this one.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: foolsgold on February 19, 2014, 10:34:32 AM
What if you just changed your kids' names to something less obvious like Margarine and Non-dairy spread?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on February 19, 2014, 11:06:42 AM
Olio and Parkay....
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on February 19, 2014, 11:55:29 AM
Can I take Ethan to a bar?
GSPo2008.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Zafer Kaya on February 19, 2014, 05:19:33 PM
He has his own facebook now

Nice.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on August 04, 2014, 10:19:31 AM
Ethan had a pretty spectacular weekend.

We decided to let each of the boys have a friend over then take them all to the Ohio State Fair this weekend.  Alex's friend crapped out after the sleepover, so it was just Ethan, Alex, and Ethan's friend.

Ethan about loses his glasses on one of the crazy midway rides, so that's not a HUGE deal as we're about to head in for new glasses in a week or two, but I make sure he knows that it's not ok and it's up to him to hand me his glasses before every ride.

Literally less than a minute later goes to get on another ride with his friend and doesn't hand me his glasses.  I jump on his case about it.

A couple of hours later, Ethan's friend tries to milk a cow at the milk-a-cow station... and wants Ethan to take video of it on the friend's phone.  Not sure what happened, but Ethan dropped his phone and pretty much obliterated the screen.  Luckily, it's a relatively cheap Cricket phone, so maybe 100 bucks, but now I'm pissed at Ethan because he has a habit of not valuing anyone's stuff, including his own. 

So, he's pissed at me and vice-versa for most of the rest of the trip.  Ethan's out like 7 weeks of allowance to pay for this kid a new phone.

Then last night he is handling a bulky, heavy combination lock for his football locker, and while he is literally just standing there holding it in front of us on the couch, drops it dead onto my wife's work computer, which was luckily closed.  If it hadn't been closed, easily could've smashed the screen... could've done it anyway.

So if Ethan liked getting fussed at for accidentally dropping things, this was the weekend for him.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on August 04, 2014, 12:40:25 PM
The best part of the whole thing was that the video of the kid's phone getting destroyed survived the fall when Ethan dropped it, and the kid's mom thought it was hilarious.  So there's that.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on August 04, 2014, 01:32:20 PM
I think Alex is missing out on a prime opportunity to point out that it seems that there is no additional evidence needed to prove that someone must have dropped Ethan on his head as a child.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: cuddlyevil on August 04, 2014, 02:09:09 PM
This thread needs to be saved in as many places as possible. Because, prom night is coming.  8)
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on August 04, 2014, 02:18:01 PM
He's getting to that weird age where he seems to be too old to be a stupid kid, because of his physical size, but really is still a stupid kid and probably will be until he's 30 like the rest of us were.  We have that same problem with my oldest.  She's old enough to be driving in a couple of years, she's in high school, she's like 6' tall.  Your brain thinks she should act like an adult because she looks like an adult but it's a trick. 
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on August 05, 2014, 07:12:18 AM
Butter and I have been so close to eating (at Chick-Fil-A) again lately. Saturday night was the tipping point when we decided that we would go ahead and do it. I was surprised and proud that Alex stopped us. My Mom would be horrified if she knew.

Just so everyone knows, we broke on this about a month ago, but have been hiding it from both kids, but especially Alex.  Have probably been 3 times in the last month?  But have to make sure to hide the evidence before returning to the house.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on August 05, 2014, 08:17:11 AM
Butter and I have been so close to eating (at Chick-Fil-A) again lately. Saturday night was the tipping point when we decided that we would go ahead and do it. I was surprised and proud that Alex stopped us. My Mom would be horrified if she knew.

Just so everyone knows, we broke on this about a month ago, but have been hiding it from both kids, but especially Alex.  Have probably been 3 times in the last month?  But have to make sure to hide the evidence before returning to the house.
I have cracked as well. DAMN SPICY CHICKEN AND GRILLED CHICKEN AND ABILITY TO WALK TO A CHICK-FIL-A DURING FROM WORK. Someone pointed out that I should cancel out my guilt by making sure that I donate as much $ (or more) to various equal rights charities as I spend on the Evil Chicken.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: foolsgold on August 05, 2014, 09:13:45 AM
What comes in the Compromised Values meal?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on August 05, 2014, 09:20:54 AM
A mild sense of regret and a Diet Lemonade with free refills.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on August 05, 2014, 09:33:16 AM
A mild sense of regret and a Diet Lemonade with free refills.
THIS.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: clemsonfan on August 06, 2014, 05:47:19 PM
So there is a RV dealership in the area named Tom Raper RV. Alex has decided that their slogan should be: Tom Raper RV: Get your rape on. While this is wildly inappropriate, I can't help but find it hilarious.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: juggles on August 06, 2014, 10:18:55 PM
He's getting to that weird age where he seems to be too old to be a stupid kid, because of his physical size, but really is still a stupid kid and probably will be until he's 30 like the rest of us were.  We have that same problem with my oldest.  She's old enough to be driving in a couple of years, she's in high school, she's like 6' tall.  Your brain thinks she should act like an adult because she looks like an adult but it's a trick.

Opposite problem with my kids. The McNuggets are both in about the fifth percentile for height and weight. So they seem unusually well behaved for 8 and 5 when they're really 10 and 7. Fired our first pediatrician after arguing with him over my son's weight. Incidentally, I'm in the fifth percentile for height and weight for 42 year olds.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: va-vacious on August 06, 2014, 10:39:43 PM
A mild sense of regret and a Diet Lemonade with free refills.
THIS.
x3! That was brilliant.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on August 06, 2014, 11:35:08 PM
So there is a RV dealership in the area named Tom Raper RV. Alex has decided that their slogan should be: Tom Raper RV: Get your rape on. While this is wildly inappropriate, I can't help but find it hilarious.

Well, they are selling RVs, I can only assume some percentage of them will be used for that purpose.  Niche marketing at it's finest.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Dan on August 07, 2014, 11:22:28 AM
He's getting to that weird age where he seems to be too old to be a stupid kid, because of his physical size, but really is still a stupid kid and probably will be until he's 30 like the rest of us were.  We have that same problem with my oldest.  She's old enough to be driving in a couple of years, she's in high school, she's like 6' tall.  Your brain thinks she should act like an adult because she looks like an adult but it's a trick.

Opposite problem with my kids. The McNuggets are both in about the fifth percentile for height and weight. So they seem unusually well behaved for 8 and 5 when they're really 10 and 7. Fired our first pediatrician after arguing with him over my son's weight. Incidentally, I'm in the fifth percentile for height and weight for 42 year olds.


Hah! Well, at least your kids are well behaved!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on October 31, 2014, 03:44:29 PM
Ethan is in his 3rd year of football.  He rarely gets to play because he does not possess the requisite physical skill to do anything, nor does he have any real interest in doing much of anything besides hanging out with other kids.

So, this year his team is undefeated.  He has gotten to play a few plays here and there in blowout wins.  He plays defensive end, and mostly when he is in, he nearly lines up offsides, and then when the ball is snapped he either just stands there on passing plays, or he gets blocked to the ground instantly on running plays.

Last year on the final play of the season, he actually realized that when the ball was snapped he could do something.  He zipped around an uninterested offensive tackle and nearly got a sack.  That generated wild enthusiasm from his teammates and coaches.  I thought that knack for maybe actually knowing what to do on plays would carry over to this season.  It did not.

Fast forward to this week.  Ethan tells me on Monday that they practiced a special play that day.  A play where he would line up as a fullback and they would hand the ball to him, then two other RB's would push him into the end zone for a touchdown.  I thought he was lying, fooling around, or misinterpreting what was happening.  I brushed it off.

Tuesday, he says the same thing.  Wednesday, same thing.  He hopes they get to do it in the game on Thursday night, he says.  By now I am worried.  I have to believe that he understands what is going on, because he's far from stupid.  He says the coaches have told him that if it is late in the game and they get it inside the 5, they're running the play.  To top it off, they say they will let another backup lineman kick the extra point.

Why am I worried?  Because I am confused at how the kids and coaches see Ethan.  Do they view him as a special needs kid worthy of pity?  He is not some Down's Syndrome kid who needs pandered to and to get a bogus 75 yard touchdown "run" because his life has been so hard luck he deserves a moment of happiness.  He is maybe AT WORST mildly autistic (very mildly if at all) and horribly moody, but at best is very social and makes friends easily with kids who don't view him as a bullying target.  He is bright, gets A's and B's in school.  He just sucks at football.  Is this a touchdown try for a kid who they view as "special"?  Or are they trying to do something nice for a nice kid who tries hard in practice but doesn't get to play much?  I am starting to really worry about the stigma of him getting a "special" touchdown.  But he seems excited, so I go with it.  It would be awesome to see him score, and would give him a story to tell forever.

So last night comes.  They play mostly like garbage, but lead 21-0 into the fourth quarter.  With about 2 minutes left, they get the ball first-and-goal at the 5.  Run a play that gets stuffed.  Second down, the sideline is murmuring and getting generally excited.  Here comes Ethan.  He is lining up at fullback.  I have rarely been so nervous.  They snap the ball, hand it to Ethan and try to push him in.  He gets to maybe the 3.  Third down, they bring in a different defensive lineman, maybe the best player on the team... which totally changes my view of things.  They are just trying to have fun with stuff.  I think they just genuinely like Ethan and are trying to reward him.  Thank God.  Third Down, awesome defensive lineman guy runs it up the middle, gets stuffed.

Fourth Down, they bring Ethan back in.  It's a tall order to score from there.  But dammit, that's my boy out there!

Snap goes, they hand the ball to Ethan.  Two kids get behind Ethan and start pushing with all their might.  Push DAMN YOU PUSH!!!!

Ethan lurches forward, then.... fumbles.  Play is stuffed at the 2 yard line.  The defense runs back out, and they run an option play in Ethan's direction.  They fumble the ball!  It's rolling loose in the end zone!  If only some defensive end were out there that could fall on the ball and score a redemption touchdown!

Instead they pick it up and run for 5 yards, around a disinterested Ethan.  Clock runs out, game ends.

To finish up the story, Ethan has the nerve to come home and tell me not to mention the play and that he never wants to talk about it again.  Welp.  Teenage boys.  Gotta love 'em.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Chris on November 01, 2014, 08:24:22 PM
To finish up the story, Ethan has the nerve to come home and tell me not to mention the play and that he never wants to talk about it again.  Welp.  Teenage boys.  Gotta love 'em.

Posting this entry to Ethan's Facebook wall in 5... 4... 3...
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on May 04, 2015, 09:48:40 AM
Ethan has been named starting running back for two-a-days practice that starts in late June.

So, how did this happen?  Because the coach said their starting offensive line will be so good next year that "anyone could play back there and get yards".  So Ethan, being zero self-aware, says what about me?  The coach puts it to a team vote.  And Ethan wins the vote and will start the practices as RB.  He has been told to their credit that his performance will win or lose him the job.  He's taken it mildly seriously, enough to try to figure out how to actually carry a football so it's not just down near his hip where he will fumble it 100% of the time.

On another note, we ran into the parents of the star of the team over the weekend at Five Guys.  The father stops by our table to introduce himself to us specifically to tell us that he loves our son and that Ethan is such a great kid.  To their son's credit, he is a star player who has already committed to Ohio State, but I've seen him interact with Ethan in a seemingly unironic way.  We return the compliment and part ways.

Ethan was with us at the time.  And, oh did I mention that Ethan was grounded at the time?  Grounded as shit because he currently has a D in English and an F in Spanish.

So yeah, he's turning 15 this month in case you wanted to feel old.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: va-vacious on May 04, 2015, 10:31:59 AM
Yup. I feel old.
And that was very very nice what the other player's parents did. He sounds like a good kid. Come on, Ethan! I want him to make it at least awhile as RB!

(In the words of Friday Night Lights, "clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!")
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: cuddlyevil on May 04, 2015, 11:32:46 AM
I can't believe he's almost 15. I'm feeling old.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on October 27, 2017, 05:33:25 PM
So Ethan got into Xavier.  He's basically a B/C student.  This has thrown Andrea and I for a bit of a loop, as we were expecting community college and then transferring after a couple of years when he starts college in the Fall of 2018.

You hear that?  He's a senior.  How old do you feel now???
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Jonathan on October 27, 2017, 07:12:03 PM
First, congratulations Ethan on getting into Xavier. That's awesome.

Secondly, here's how old this thread (and we all) are. I now have a son who is about  Ethan's age, and a daughter who is around the same age as Aaron (Matt's son) on Page 1 of the thread. And it sounds like some of the same stories are happening again.

To wit, my daughter acts the same way around boobs as Aaron. Except that she says "Mo-mos?" instead of "beep beep". But she's always trying to pull up my wife's top, and if my wife is wearing a button-down shirt, say, for work, she'll go for the reach-in.

The more things change, eh?
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: euro60 on October 28, 2017, 12:02:36 AM
So Ethan got into Xavier. 
I hope you have your pocket book ready. Great school, but not cheap....

As a complete aside story, many years ago, my son (who went to St.X) was, among others, admitted to X. He ended up going to Wittenberg (in Springfield, OH), another fine school. Except that is was the biggest mistake ever. He dropped out after one semester. Far too liberal for him. X would've been the perfect fit for him, but Wittenberg offered a big scholarship and X did not, and we went with the money. Big mistake.

Butter, if you want further inside on this, PM me...
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on October 31, 2017, 01:39:22 PM
He has also now been accepted to Bowling Green.  This is big, big news.  Though it sounds like he's really holding out for UC.

For an actual light-hearted story, those of you with Facebook already know that Ethan made homecoming court.  But what you DON'T know is that the girl he went to the homecoming dance with was not in his school.  She was also not his girlfriend, she is a girl who is in some kind of youth group with Ethan.  She has a boyfriend who lives like 100 miles away.  She goes to a neighboring school district, and Ethan basically straight up played the sympathy card to try and get people to vote for him, because they had a deal about going to her homecoming dance (which was the same night) unless he made court, in which case she would go to his school's dance.

So I'm taking them home and they are talking in the back seat.  It is pouring rain.  We get to the girl's house, and as she gets out she says "thanks, I had a really nice time."  Ethan barely looks up from his phone and says "Bye".  That's it.  Doesn't get out and escort her to the door or anything. 

I say "if you were trying to tell that girl you're not interested, then you did a great job."  He proceeds to tell me that she was bossy on the dance floor, telling him how to dance when he was dancing slow and telling him to stop when he was trying to upbeat dance in a silly way. 

I tell him if he can't stand that level of feedback, he's gonna have a bad time.  But ok, that's his choice.

The End.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Dan on October 31, 2017, 10:10:52 PM
I love that story.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on November 01, 2017, 01:56:10 PM
Oh, glad I got to hear the coda on the homecoming saga, I'd heard the rest already, but that's is a perfectly Ethan ending.

Also, I have an Ethan story of my own.  Julie, Nora and I ran into him at his place of employment about a week and a half ago.  We were milling around looking at something in the seasonal aisle and he came strolling up to us with a handful of restocks.  So he comes up and says hi and we talk a little. I ask him, "so, you've got re-stocks there, huh?"  (he's holding a frozen pizza in his hand and a few other things) 

"Yeah, this is the stuff nobody wanted.  I have to put it back.  Lucky thing I have this scanner that tells me where to go, otherwise I'd have to take half an hour screwing around trying to figure out where to put it all."

"Oh, that's good.  I always hated that in my retail days."

"Yeah, although, I'd much rather go screw around for half an hour."

"Uh... yeah, don't say that too loud."  Ethan laughs uncontrollably, slaps his knee, the whole bit, like I've said the funniest thing in the world.  Then I think it dawned on him that he was visibly standing around goofing off and he went on about his business.  I definitely had a flashback to the soccer story and him trying to convince the other kids not to make him chase them around.  Funny kid.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on November 11, 2017, 05:53:14 PM
I am now friends with Ethan on Facebook.  I'm expecting the entertainment value of this to be pretty much limitless.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Jonathan on November 11, 2017, 10:22:27 PM
I am now friends with Ethan's dad on Facebook. This is something that I never in a million years thought would happen.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: va-vacious on December 20, 2017, 09:18:42 PM
The fact this thread still exists makes me happy.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: euro60 on December 20, 2017, 11:17:34 PM
The fact that I am not on Facebook makes me even happier  8)
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: MissKitty on December 22, 2017, 06:05:46 PM
The fact that I am not on Facebook makes me even happier  8)

Now that Butter's on FB, looks like you and ZK are (maybe?) the last holdouts. Keep on flying that freak flag, lads!
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: euro60 on December 23, 2017, 12:43:20 AM
The fact that I am not on Facebook makes me even happier  8)

Now that Butter's on FB, looks like you and ZK are (maybe?) the last holdouts. Keep on flying that freak flag, lads!
Butter is a wimp. Sad to see him give in to the dark side. Which is what Fecebook is.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Jonathan on December 23, 2017, 08:53:02 AM
The fact that I am not on Facebook makes me even happier  8)

Now that Butter's on FB, looks like you and ZK are (maybe?) the last holdouts. Keep on flying that freak flag, lads!
Butter is a douchebag. No further elaboration required.

Fixed your post for you..
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on November 13, 2018, 01:06:54 PM
Can I take Ethan to a bar?

Can we get this to happen now that Ethan is in college? PRETTY PLEASE.
I would like to know everything that goes down when Ethan prepares himself to present his fake ID (which ZK will supply since we know he probably most definitely has a connect) to the bouncer.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on November 13, 2018, 02:09:47 PM
Can I take Ethan to a bar?

Can we get this to happen now that Ethan is in college? PRETTY PLEASE.
I would like to know everything that goes down when Ethan prepares himself to present his fake ID (which ZK will supply since we know he probably most definitely has a connect) to the bouncer.

Ethan is not doing so hot in college.  I know this is a shock.  He will be lucky to fail only one class, honestly.

But I do know he went to one frat party.  And afterwards he told me that he really didn't like it, because he really didn't like drinking and didn't see the point.

We will see if he ends up going back for Semester #2, right now I would give odds at about 50/50.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on November 13, 2018, 05:20:24 PM
Can I take Ethan to a bar?

Can we get this to happen now that Ethan is in college? PRETTY PLEASE.
I would like to know everything that goes down when Ethan prepares himself to present his fake ID (which ZK will supply since we know he probably most definitely has a connect) to the bouncer.

Ethan is not doing so hot in college.  I know this is a shock.  He will be lucky to fail only one class, honestly.

But I do know he went to one frat party.  And afterwards he told me that he really didn't like it, because he really didn't like drinking and didn't see the point.

We will see if he ends up going back for Semester #2, right now I would give odds at about 50/50.
That first year is tough, Man.
Luckily, he's got two great parents who will help him figure it out.
Maybe he's not ready for college...YET.
Or maybe he'll surprise you guys and stick the landing.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Kwyjibo on November 14, 2018, 09:05:33 AM
So, he didn't heed my advice that going to class was pretty much the most important thing he could do?  I am shocked.  *SHOCKED* I tell you.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Dan on November 14, 2018, 11:29:09 AM
First semester is tough. It was by far my worst semester, although my grades were fine. There's a lot to sort out at that time.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: euro60 on November 14, 2018, 10:53:12 PM
Just to put things in perspective:

This past weekend, the 19 yr. old son (a UC student) of one of my partners at the law firm passed away, apparently of an overdose. Think about that as you think of how Ethan is doing. Count your blessings.

Also, my son attended college years ago, dropped out after 1 semester, doing just terrible, and never went back. He's a grad of St.Xavier HS, an all-male Jesuit HS that is college making machine, to say the least. But as it turned out, college just wasn't for him. After some early struggles, he landed on his feet at a company headquartered here in Blue Ash (suburban Cincy) as a lab technician (think: wearing a white coat), testing P&G materials (think: diapers, fem products) and he has thrived there (he works at one of the P&G facilities in Cincy). working his way up the chain. After 8-9 years, he is now considered a very valuable, dare I say integral and core member of that testing team. He's earning a nice living, and is enjoying his working environment. My point being: college is great, but it's not the end all, be all, for all kids, and there are other roads out there for kids who don't go the college rout to find a place in society.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Butter on November 14, 2018, 11:10:39 PM
Sure, we didn't push him to college.

He wanted to do this, he did all the leg work. He didn't even strike me as the 4 year college type considering how much he hated school work.

I'm doing most of the paying for it. It's not so easy to just let him sit around and try to figure his shit out when it costs me five figures a year to do so in the current configuration, and he seemingly learns no lessons from anything. 
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: euro60 on November 14, 2018, 11:29:02 PM

I'm doing most of the paying for it. It's not so easy to just let him sit around and try to figure his shit out when it costs me five figures a year to do so in the current configuration, and he seemingly learns no lessons from anything.
That is exactly what I told my son. He was attending Wittenberg, not a cheap college. After that one disastrous semester, I told him I wasn't go to pay for it anymore, and hence he dropped out. But as mentioned, he landed on his feet quite nicely after all.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: Zafer Kaya on November 15, 2018, 01:03:25 PM
I do not think there is anything my parents could have done that would have helped me in college.  And I have Asian parents.  I also don't think things would have gone any better for me those years had I not gone to college.  I didn't really didn't have college/learning issues so much as I had life issues. 

I was going to flail around for a few years no matter what.  In retrospect, it's scary how close I came to screwing up. But also I think, if I hadn't gone to college or gone to college at a different school I would have gone off the tracks.  I am 100% certain if I had gone to VCU for example, that I would have just disappeared into the city.  There's nothing to do in Williamsburg except hang out on campus and go to class.  I still managed to skip probably like 75% of them, but that 25% was probably the difference between the C's I got vs F's.

If you'd asked me though, if I wanted to be in college I'd have said yes.  I wasn't happy, but I was much less unhappy in college than anywhere else.  I didn't want to live with my parents, and I had no clue about what job I might want.  At college I at least had some friends, and I liked learning.  I read all my books and stuff.  I just hated going to class and doing homework. 

I think that would be the hardest part for me, as a parent.  Trying to figure out if my kid is just not suited for college and is heading disastrously down the wrong track and needs to be pulled out fast, or if my kid is just going through what tons of young adults go through and will flail about for a year or two regardless of what they are doing and you just need to wait for them to come out the other side.
Title: Re: Another Ethan story
Post by: c-lando on November 16, 2018, 08:34:30 AM
I do not think there is anything my parents could have done that would have helped me in college.  And I have Asian parents.  I also don't think things would have gone any better for me those years had I not gone to college.  I didn't really didn't have college/learning issues so much as I had life issues. 

I was going to flail around for a few years no matter what.  In retrospect, it's scary how close I came to screwing up. But also I think, if I hadn't gone to college or gone to college at a different school I would have gone off the tracks.  I am 100% certain if I had gone to VCU for example, that I would have just disappeared into the city.  There's nothing to do in Williamsburg except hang out on campus and go to class.  I still managed to skip probably like 75% of them, but that 25% was probably the difference between the C's I got vs F's.

If you'd asked me though, if I wanted to be in college I'd have said yes.  I wasn't happy, but I was much less unhappy in college than anywhere else.  I didn't want to live with my parents, and I had no clue about what job I might want.  At college I at least had some friends, and I liked learning.  I read all my books and stuff.  I just hated going to class and doing homework. 

I think that would be the hardest part for me, as a parent.  Trying to figure out if my kid is just not suited for college and is heading disastrously down the wrong track and needs to be pulled out fast, or if my kid is just going through what tons of young adults go through and will flail about for a year or two regardless of what they are doing and you just need to wait for them to come out the other side.

So, you'll take him out for a beer, right?