is it so crazy to expect people to be responsible for themselves?
No, it isn't, but personal responsibility will only get you so far in this world.
is it so crazy not to have a welfare state?
It probably is. A whole lot of people are just a lay off and a significant medical situation away from the poor house and all the personal responsibility in the world won't help you out. There are plenty of good, hard working people who work multiple jobs and still can't make ends meet, but apparently they aren't worthy of help.
but how can you deny the fundamental fact that people can't do a damn thing about the situation they were born into, except prosper. what's stopping you?
This statement is so dismissive. We all need to recognize how big of a role the situation we were born into played into where we are now. I was born male, middle class, and white (y'all don't know what it's like). The expectation for me from a very early age was that I'd go to college and get a good job somewhere. There was never a question of "if I go to college". It was always "when I go to college". All of my siblings went to college; 2 of them are engineers, and 1 has a PHD. Honestly, I don't think I really had to work all that hard to get where I am.
Others are born into incredible wealth and contribute nothing of value to society and can be complete train wrecks in public, but yet are still held up and revered in some weird way. Why are they more valued than someone born into poverty who managed to make it past the age of 19 without going to jail or being killed in a neighborhood where the odds of this are slim?
The implication of your statement is that if you are poor, then you are either too lazy or too stupid and you are a leach on society. This simply is not true.