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Author Topic: Random Musings  (Read 435914 times)

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euro60

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7500 on: June 26, 2019, 10:47:58 PM »

great story ZK
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"A blind faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth" - Albert Einstein (1901)

The Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra is one of Cincinnati's underappreciated treasures

Zafer Kaya

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7501 on: July 14, 2019, 03:20:34 PM »

My sister has this odd and annoying habit of adding y’s to everything.  She’s done it since she was a kid, largely because it annoys me.  So she will ask me where we want to “lunchity lunch.”  Or that she is going to sit on the “couchity couch.”  Sometimes she will stack them up like “Do you want to sit on the couchity couchity couch couch?”

She recently decorated her living room, so I had a master stroke. I bought her a Fiddle Leaf Fig.  Which is a nice present because they are super hip right now, and kind of expensive.  They are also impossible to take care of, so I’m sure hers will die but she’s not into plants anyway.  It’s just temporary decoration, really.  But see, the genius is the built-in pun.  When she says “My fiddily fig is dying”. I will just hear “My Fiddle leaf fig is dying.”

Unfortunately , it turns out that my sister actually looked up how to take care of a Fiddle Leaf Fig and found a good spot for it and mists it.  I still think it will die, because Fiddle Leaf Figs suck.  But it may take awhile.

In the meantime, she refers to her Fiddle Leaf Fig by the full name.  Which is way more annoying because now it’s a double and plus I wonder every time if she is saying fiddily fiddily fig or fiddily Fiddle Leaf fig. 

I also wonder if she is aware of the pun.  And then I wonder if she is aware that I too, am aware of the pun.  And then what keeps me up at night is wondering is she is aware that not only am I aware of the pun, but that I bought it for her for just that reason and she’s purposely annoying me.

She is visiting today.  I bought her a begonia.  Try doing something with that.

daytime drinking

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7502 on: July 15, 2019, 10:20:01 PM »

one of my favorite parts of infinite jest is the poster that m. pemulis is gifted that reads yes i'm paranoid.  but am i paranoid enough?

with the little one i always make objects rhyme and with a y.  like socky wockies, wammy jammies.  there's a song and dance number with the socky wockies originating in milwaukee.  when i first heard fiddle leaf fig, i was envisioning a reclining leaf chair.  not a fan of watering house plants.  i'd like to not need a six foot ladder to get a majority of them because fuckin cats 
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poach eggs, not elephants

Zafer Kaya

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7503 on: July 20, 2019, 11:12:36 PM »

Today I was going to hang up some pictures.  Then I remembered why I hadn't.  My walls are plaster.

I was all like, I dunno I will leave a big plaster gouge and the nail won't hold and then I'm afraid of drilling but I don't know why and then Command Strips do they work? I don't trust them.  What if this picture falls and then it will break and break what it falls on and maybe pull off paint.  How much does this picture weigh?  Ten pounds?

And then I realized in my old house, I hung up a really heavy like 40 lbs mirror on a plaster wall that had brick behind it.  I had no idea how I did it.  Then, I finally remembered.  I was like, "I don't have a hammer drill, but I bet since I only need a small hole I can do this with a regular drill."  I bought a masonry bit and a tapcon at Lowe's, drilled it out, hung the mirror.  There was some other thing I had to McGuyver, I forget.  Mirror hung there for 12 years, no problem.  It was still hanging the day I left, because I forgot it.  And the new owner kept it up, so it hangs there still, going on 15 years. 

I put like, 15 minutes of thought into it.   And then made a 15 minute trip to the hardware store, measured everything out, drilled,  hung it.  Walked away and spent the rest of my day doing whatever.  Never thought about whether the mirror was secure again, until just now.  I just knew it was.


How come I could hang a much heavier object onto a moch more problematic surface 15 years ago, and now I can't even hang a normal picture onto normal plaster?  Am I stupider than I used to be?  Is it loss of confidence?

I hung art up all over my old house.  It was all plaster. Sometimes I used a drill, sometimes I just hammered a nail.  It seems to me that the advent of command strips makes it easier than ever.  But I don't trust command strips and I don't trust myself with a hammer or drill. 

This shit happens to me more and more as I get old.  Now I understand why old people can't do things anymore.  They don't trust new things and they get absurdly risk-averse, and their brains aren't as good.  This is happening to me.  I know I'm way less smart and capable than I used to be. 

Our office got a Harvard intern this summer.  Everyone in the office is walking around going "She's not so smart.  I'm as smart as her."  But that is Dunnning-Krueger effect.  She is way smarter than them.  You can just watch like on even mundane things how fast her mind works and how when she figures out one thing, she actually learns 5 things because she immediately applies that principle to other things. Her mind is a sponge.

So people get mad at me when I tell them she us smarter than they are.  They're like, so you must think you are smarter than me, too.  No, I don't.  She's smarter than me, too. Then how do I know she's smart?  Because I USED to be that smart.  I remember it.  I also remember thinking what complete morons you were and how aggravating it was to have to deal with you.  Now I'm just like you.  Only you were always like this.  I actually have to watch myself get stupider by the day.  In ten years, I'll be voting for Trump.

P.S. please if you get a chanse put some flowrs on Algernons grave in the bak yard.




MissKitty

  • Hooray Beer!
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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7504 on: July 24, 2019, 05:24:09 PM »

I get ya. I used to be super coordinated. In high school I was in flag corps. I played tennis. I could bust a move on the dance floor. I could rub my stomach and pat my head at the same time.

Now? I'm afraid to walk and chew gum at the same time for fear of falling over my feet.

Getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative.
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Duct tape can't fix stupid.

Zafer Kaya

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7505 on: July 24, 2019, 07:47:00 PM »

People put chairs next to their credenzas, just because they need to stretch out the space.

When they do they do this, and I am in their house, I will always sit in the chair next to the credenza.  And then they are puzzled and go "Why are you sitting there?"  And I say, "This seems like such a comfortable chair, and I like sitting here against this wall, kind of in a corner so I can see the whole room.  It's great."  In my mind, this is a polite thing to do, because it makes people feel less conscious about the fact that they put a chair in a stupid-ass place.  Now their chair actually got used and it serves a function.

But I have been told this is actually a rude thing to do.  Because people have no expectation that anyone will sit in that chair and do not feel self-conscious about it at all.  I'm just sitting where I am not supposed and eschewing their carefully chosen and placed guest chairs for a prop.

Also, you don't have to turn on the lamp that's on the credenza over the chair.  That, too is strictly art.

The reason I am writing about this is because I just put a credenza in my living room.  It's about four feet short of a wall either side, so just the right amount to put a chair on one or both sides.  But putting chairs next to credenzas is stupid. And putting books on top of the chairs with a throw pillow on top would not help matters.

euro60

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7506 on: July 24, 2019, 11:22:38 PM »

Getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative.
remind me, what is the alternative? (and yes, getting old sucks)
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"A blind faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth" - Albert Einstein (1901)

The Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra is one of Cincinnati's underappreciated treasures

Butter

  • Suffering from early-onset douchiness
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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7507 on: July 25, 2019, 07:24:33 AM »

Getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative.
remind me, what is the alternative? (and yes, getting old sucks)

Benjamin Button-ing
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c-lando

  • Bacon Research & Sparkle Development/Cr0ndog Millionaire
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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7508 on: July 25, 2019, 08:06:07 AM »

Getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative.
remind me, what is the alternative? (and yes, getting old sucks)

Benjamin Button-ing

GSPotD!
That tickled me, Elmo.
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Once the bacon's done, all pants are off.  
PANTS PANTS REVOLUTION!!!

c-lando

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7509 on: July 25, 2019, 08:08:52 AM »


P.S. please if you get a chanse put some flowrs on Algernons grave in the bak yard.

This should have been my GSPotD - if I had seen it on that day.
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Once the bacon's done, all pants are off.  
PANTS PANTS REVOLUTION!!!

daytime drinking

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7510 on: July 25, 2019, 08:53:45 AM »

or being cryogenically frozen like  ted williams
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poach eggs, not elephants

Butter

  • Suffering from early-onset douchiness
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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7511 on: July 25, 2019, 09:11:10 AM »

or being cryogenically frozen like  ted williams

Gene therapy.  Sadly, I was born like 50 years too early for this, but I honestly do believe they will figure out aging in the next 100 years.
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daytime drinking

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7512 on: July 25, 2019, 09:30:02 PM »

yeah but then you'd have to actually suffer thru the future.  who wants to witness humans becoming robots.  technology sure can suck balls
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poach eggs, not elephants

daytime drinking

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7513 on: July 27, 2019, 11:04:42 PM »

the best thing about getting old, is getting gray hair.  it's the ultimate look.  what i've got wouldn't qualify as a patch, but it's discernible in my chest 
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poach eggs, not elephants

euro60

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7514 on: July 28, 2019, 12:46:09 AM »

the best thing about getting old, is getting gray hair.  it's the ultimate look.  what i've got wouldn't qualify as a patch, but it's discernible in my chest
who cares about getting gray hair (not that I do).

The worst thing about getting older (I will turn 59 next week) is the loss of time. Only so much time left, I hate it. And hence the deeper appreciation for each and every day. My son bought one of those "party peddle beer bikes" tour in OtR for an early b'day gift which we'll do tomorrow for the 4 of us (my son, my daughter, her girlfriend, and me) and I can't wait for it! I don't need more stuff for my birthday. But I will treasure every minute of being together with them tomorrow.
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"A blind faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth" - Albert Einstein (1901)

The Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra is one of Cincinnati's underappreciated treasures
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