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Author Topic: Random Musings  (Read 430458 times)

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Ella Minnow Pea

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7230 on: November 20, 2017, 10:35:23 PM »

Driving home from work the other day, I was behind a Tesla with the customized license plate "COALPWRD". I think this is an incomplete label, as there's a nuclear power plant 20 miles away.
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also known as rcc94

notoriouspbake

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7231 on: November 21, 2017, 08:19:46 AM »

Driving home from work the other day, I was behind a Tesla with the customized license plate "COALPWRD". I think this is an incomplete label, as there's a nuclear power plant 20 miles away.

wha???? who does that???
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c-lando

  • Bacon Research & Sparkle Development/Cr0ndog Millionaire
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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7232 on: November 21, 2017, 08:22:16 AM »

If my math (and memory) is right, I've hit 100 posts on my Randomville return. Not quite the prodigious pace that I had before, but still pretty active, I think.
Active enough! Thanks for infusing some life into our old bones/boards.
GSPoTD!

You know, in all my years, that's the first GSPoTD I can ever remember getting.

Thanks!
IMPOSSERUS!
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Once the bacon's done, all pants are off.  
PANTS PANTS REVOLUTION!!!

Jonathan

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7233 on: November 22, 2017, 02:03:25 PM »

If my math (and memory) is right, I've hit 100 posts on my Randomville return. Not quite the prodigious pace that I had before, but still pretty active, I think.
Active enough! Thanks for infusing some life into our old bones/boards.
GSPoTD!

You know, in all my years, that's the first GSPoTD I can ever remember getting.

Thanks!
IMPOSSERUS!
I KNOW, RIGHT?!?
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"I believe that in the long view of history, the British Empire will be remembered only for two things. The game of football, and the expression 'fuck off.'" - Sir Richard Turnbull

daytime drinking

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7234 on: November 23, 2017, 12:28:41 PM »

how do alan watts youtube videos have so few (youtubely speaking) views? 
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poach eggs, not elephants

euro60

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7235 on: November 29, 2017, 04:35:26 PM »

My health care premium for the very same "catastrophic coverage" health care plan I have this year is going up 36 PERCENT in 2018.

Number of doctor visits I made in 2017: none
Number of meds prescriptions I bought in 2017: none
Number of ER visits I incurred in 2017: none

It's quite obvious then that my premium should go up by 36% <sigh>
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"A blind faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth" - Albert Einstein (1901)

The Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra is one of Cincinnati's underappreciated treasures

Buzzstein

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7236 on: November 30, 2017, 07:55:10 PM »

Driving home from work the other day, I was behind a Tesla with the customized license plate "COALPWRD". I think this is an incomplete label, as there's a nuclear power plant 20 miles away.

wha???? who does that???

Someone named Coal maybe?
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How the hell do I get back to Cincinnati??...Again!

Zafer Kaya

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7237 on: December 02, 2017, 07:11:22 PM »

My neighbor on the right is a meticulous leaf blower.  She always lifts her nozzle to avoid blowing leaves into my yard.  Then she stands like a foot on my side of the yard and points her blower diagonally toward the street.  Then she bags everything on the street exactly to the boundary.  Not a single leaf in my yard is touched.  And not a single leaf is blown from her house to mine.

My neighbor on the left is a careless leaf blower.  He does not intentionally blow everything to my yard.  But he just sort of sweeps and walks toward the street, so the leaves on the border tend to get blown into my yard.  There is always a little pile right at the boundary.  On the other hand, he lives on the corner, and the city vacuums the Main Street, but not my street.  He does not bag anything, just blows it onto the street that gets vacuumed.  But I notice he also does me a solid which is when he clears the street he starts at my house so he blows all my street leaves away, even if some end up in my yard.

I am a half-assed mix of the two.  I do not make much of an effort to get every leaf.  I am good about not blowing my leaves into my neighbir’s yards, but because I leave some, some get blown there anyway.  I bag my leaves and mulch them in the back, but I don’t constantly rerake to reassemble piles.  I just grab what I can get and leave small, sloppy pile remnants.  Those are the leaves my neighbor blows away for me.

When it is all done, I have by far the sloppiest yard.  Like, there are still lots of leaves left, they’re just kinda under control.  In my defense, I just planted a bunch of stuff, so I do not want to damage my new transplants or blow away all my mulch.  But next year I will not have that excuse but I still will not blow away all my leaves.

My neighbors also both seed their lawns and they look great.  My lawn looks like ass comparatively.  But then that is partly because there is a slope that washes all the rain from my neighbors yard into mine and then into the street so it is hard to plant a lawn.  The seeds would get washed away.  In exchange for having a crappy lawn, I am casual about the fact that my neighbor redirects all her rain spouts right at my house.  I put a rain garden in my yard to soak it all up.  Although, I have to check if the water is pooling at my foundation.    If it is, I will have to say something,  But I think it comes just over the other side of the crest so it washes the other way.  Still through my lawn, just not towards my house.




Jonathan

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7238 on: December 03, 2017, 04:18:46 AM »

Everybody in Australia has fences. And not like, little split-rail or picket fences, but giant, fuck-off fences made out of seven-foot sheets of corrugated steel. Nobody is looking into your yard, and you aren't looking into anyone else's.

The is my way of saying that I don't have these issues. For that matter, I've owned this house for three years and haven't said Word One to either of the blokes on either side of me.
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"I believe that in the long view of history, the British Empire will be remembered only for two things. The game of football, and the expression 'fuck off.'" - Sir Richard Turnbull

Kwyjibo

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7239 on: December 04, 2017, 09:31:32 AM »

I just run the mower over all my leaves a few times.  Fuck raking or blowing.
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Baby, check this out, I've got something to say.  Man, it's so loud in here.

euro60

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7240 on: December 10, 2017, 11:36:09 PM »

Posted my 4000th, yes 4,000, review today on Amazon today. How crazy is that? Currently ranked the top 125th reviewer of tens of millions reviewers on Amazon. Where have the years gone...

https://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A14GK0E64J0WAS/ref=cr_cm_rdp_pdp_see_all?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview

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"A blind faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth" - Albert Einstein (1901)

The Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra is one of Cincinnati's underappreciated treasures

Zafer Kaya

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7241 on: December 20, 2017, 03:31:53 PM »

Do headhunters know or care how unbelievably insulting their stupid letters are?

Dear blahblahblah,

We are looking for an experienced poo flinger for an exciting and high paying opportunity.  This position requires mastery of turdal analysis (both shape and consistency), velocity, technique, and trajectory. As an expert in this field with many years of experience, you are in the unique position of knowing exactly what it takes to fling poo, and just how important it is that poo be flung correctly.  This person will be responsible for all the poo flung in the greater Northeast area, as well as providing assistance to the national shit-tossing consortium. 

Therefore, we are asking for you know of any individuals you would like to nominate for this important post?

Yours,
NPFA

First, if I'm such an awesome poo flinger why am I not being offered the job?  Either I'm qualified for the job, or I'm probably not such a good person to ask who is qualified seeing as how I don't have the poo flinging expertise.  If you're going to butter me up, how about a "Hey, now that we think about it, would you consider tossing your poo in the ring?  It'd be an honor for us."

Second, I'm the expert poo flinger and you're the recruiting agency.  So why YOU are asking ME?  I should be asking you who the best poo flinger in the country is, not the other way around.  Except I know who the best poo flinger is.  It's me.  But that's not the point.  The point is, you're the one getting paid for this.  If I find you a poo flinger do I get the commission?  No way.

Third, don't patronize me and explain to me my job.  I don't try and tell you how to head hunt, although maybe I should because you suck at it.  But that's beside the point.  Your incompetence has no bearing on my expertise.  Listen, I know how to fling poo, as you acknowledge yourself.  I calculate and map out poo vectors all day, okay?  And I draw those poo vectors with my own excrement.  THAT'S HOW HARDCORE I AM, SON.  I don't need no recruiter telling me how to account for corn kernals and peanuts just so you can try to make yourself look like you know what you're talking about.

Fourth, you know this letter makes me hate you right?  And that what I'm going to do is immediately nominate the worst poo flinger I know just to spite you?  It best it wastes your time.  At worst, you actually hire the guy which at least means I don't have to deal with that girly-thrower any more.  And the guy I will pick is probably already in your database on account of I have nominated him so many times to so many recruiting agency.  In fact, did you consider that's why I'm in your database?  Because some jerkoff mistakenly thinks I suck at flinging poo and keeps nominating me?

How hard is this?  Just check the stats, dude.  I lead the league with an adjusted PFR of 100.6. I'm on your fantasy team...
if you're lucky enough to draft first.  People write in to USA Today every week "Should I start Zafer Kaya or Hoo Flung Poo?"  "Start Kaya, you jackass.  I don't care if it's a bye week for him and Hoo Flung Poo has five starts at Coors.  You start Kaya every week.  Money in the bank."

If you don't already know I'm the best there ever was or will be, then I can't do nothing to help you.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2017, 03:36:17 PM by Zafer Kaya »
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va-vacious

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7242 on: December 20, 2017, 08:17:38 PM »

State fruits, state nuts, state trees...all of it is ridiculous, if you ask me.

The official state dog of North Carolina is the Plott Hound.

The official state beverage of North Carolina is milk.

And like 10 states have the Cardinal as the state bird.
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euro60

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7243 on: December 20, 2017, 11:25:25 PM »

Do headhunters know or care how unbelievably insulting their stupid letters are?
The fact that this headhunter is sending a LETTER, as in, I suppose a hard copy letter in the mail, should really tell you how out of touch this headhunter is.

I get contacted by headhunters all the time, either by phone or by email.

I ignore them all. I mean, I've been at my firm for 30 years, I like it here, and I make good money. Do they really think I'd be interested in some uncertain adventure, even if it pays more money? Money isn't everything. But I guess I can't blame them for trying. But a letter? What a joke....
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"A blind faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth" - Albert Einstein (1901)

The Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra is one of Cincinnati's underappreciated treasures

Jonathan

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Re: Random Musings
« Reply #7244 on: December 21, 2017, 10:17:37 AM »


Crazy funny ZK post...


God damn I missed you, son. That was an epic post.
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"I believe that in the long view of history, the British Empire will be remembered only for two things. The game of football, and the expression 'fuck off.'" - Sir Richard Turnbull
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