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[scurvygirl]

I decided against being a meteorologist because I'd have to take calculus.

I ended up taking calculus anyway.

Man, I love calculus!  It was one of my favorite college classes!
Because I'm evil, my very favorite part was that all the business students who had to take the class who were absolutely shitting themselves.  This one guy was taking it for the fourth time.  Haha!

[Jonathan]

Did you want to the next Greg Fishel, so you could host the Brain Game?

I thought the traffic guy hosted that?

And Greg Fishel was my Meteorology merit badge counselor when I was a Boy Scout, thank-you-very-much. :lol:

[vizzah]

another funny one i just thought of, and i wasn't even drunk!

when i was in junior high, my best friends christy, jessica and i decided we'd "go to a football game" against our rival school and meet up with some of their older, much better looking boys.  after cutting across a busy freeway and going through a stinky tunnel, we eneded up in the field in front of Appleton Papers.  the three os uf were all wearing button up shirts, and though it would be a riot if we tore them open and went semi-streaking through the field, amidst heavy passer-by traffic.  before you know it, i'd hit what i thought was a patch of dead grass - and it was, except it was a patch of dead grass covering a trench about 7 feet deep.  both feet went right out from under me, flinstone style - and everyone was running so manically, afraid of getting caught, that they didn't even notice they'd lost me until they were almost 100 yards past.  so trying to impress some older boys with our wild and crazy hyjinx turned into said boys pulling me out of a massive ditch, half-clothed and covered in dirt and bugs.  SEXXAY!

[Ella Minnow Pea]

I thought the traffic guy hosted that?

Well, it is Mark Roberts now, but up until a couple of years ago it was the Fish.

[Shlep]

stole a Bobcat mini bulldozer from a construction site

I think this has always been one of my repressed dreams.  I've always wanted to steal construction equipment b/c they just leave them sitting there seemingly unprotected.

We had our eye on bigger and better things (like a big Caterpillar front-end loader or backhoe) but after that little incident, plus lifting some free tools, they quit leaving the keys in the ignition or near the toolboxes.

I notice I'm not the only guy who wanted to be a garbageman; that was my very first ambition in life.  Yep, even before wanting to be an astronaut or a doctor, I wanted to be a garbageman.  I thought it was the coolest job in the world.  One of my earliest memories of anything in life was running to the window to watch them, a bunch of sinewy guys riding in a big cool truck tossing trash into the giant mechanical maw and crushing it, banging lids, laughing, singing songs, talking smack...that was the life for me.  One year (on my 3rd or 4th birthday, I think) I got a little yellow toy hardhat, just like the guys riding on the back of the truck; I would don it when they came by on their rounds, then run outside and help.

[Content Chick]

Man, I'm a boring drunk. Other than thinking I can dance (and who doesn't when they're drunk?) or suddenly becoming an expert on subjects I know nothing about like car repair, I've got nothing.

[Kwyjibo]

a bunch of sinewy guys... laughing, singing songs, talking smack...that was the life for me.  

Did you have the cast of Newsies collecting your garbage or what?

[Shlep]

a bunch of sinewy guys... laughing, singing songs, talking smack...that was the life for me.  

Did you have the cast of Newsies collecting your garbage or what?

Of course not...they delivered the papers.  And what an annoying bunch they were, performing their rounds in the manner of an impromptu dance production wearing silly knickers and talking in the most stilted Brooklyn accents you ever heard...