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Author Topic: *I'm about to barf*  (Read 1385 times)

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thepsychicpoirot

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*I'm about to barf*
« on: August 22, 2005, 02:52:39 PM »

Some of you may know that I am a chronic manufacturer of kidney stones.  Last week I was having some flare-up pain in my kidneys, specifically my right one.  The pain lasted for about 3-4 hours until I got home to the comfort of my other wife, Vi C. Odin (she's soooo nice to me.  Not that my real wife isn't, but you know).  I had called the doctor to tell them and they wanted to set up an x-ray.  On one of my last IVP's (x-rays) I found out the hard way that I am allergic to the IVP dye they usually inject into your blood stream and urinary tract.  So this time around, they want to do a CT and are making me drink this apple-"flavored" Barium Sulfate crap.  

I'm at work and I've been trying to get this stuff into my system.  The label has "Apple Smoothie" printed in big bold letters across the top and a big juicy red apple on it.  It says to keep at room temperature and do not refrigerate.  It's white like milk, but a little thicker like Pepto and little like watered down milk if that makes any sense.  I'm half-way through one and have to down another one by 6:00.  I can drink a gallon of milk in an hour no problem (not often, mind you), but this shit is killing me.
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Nate

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*I'm about to barf*
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2005, 02:54:03 PM »

Pinch your nose while you drink.
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cuddlyevil

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*I'm about to barf*
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2005, 02:55:41 PM »

So it's kinda like phillip's milk of magnesia? Ew. Good luck Matt.
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vizzah

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*I'm about to barf*
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2005, 03:57:12 PM »

sounds about as much fun as drinking a gallon of "cherry" colyte.  

chew as many pieces of dentyne ice or some other kind of REALLY strong gum while you're drinking it.  that stuff is so overpowering that everything else tastes like nothing for the first few minutes.
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thepsychicpoirot

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*I'm about to barf*
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2005, 04:03:37 PM »

I've got one bottle down.  Damn, that was tough.  Took me about 90 minutes.  This second one is going to be brutal.  I've got to get in down during the 45 minute drive home.  It's not so much the taste, but the consistency.  If I only had a straw and some ice cream to thicken it up, I could probably make a bariumsulfateshake out of it.  Or a bong...
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redbobsled

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*I'm about to barf*
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2005, 04:05:16 PM »

I've had that shit, but I had to drink the "orange smoothie."

It is nowhere NEAR as nasty as the liquid horror they make you drink to get an abdominal CT with contrast, though.  So thank your lucky stars you aren't tasting THAT shit.
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Dan

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*I'm about to barf*
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2005, 10:19:04 AM »

Can you add something to it?  Something like...tabasco sauce?  That'd make you focus on something else at least.
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cuddlyevil

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*I'm about to barf*
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2005, 10:52:01 AM »

Matt, did you survive?
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thepsychicpoirot

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*I'm about to barf*
« Reply #8 on: August 23, 2005, 11:49:13 AM »

I couldn't finish the second bottle.  I got about half of it down and then felt myself gagging with every sip I tried to take.  After the first bottle I could tell that it was in my system because it sat on my stomach like a lead weight.  I felt a little bloated.  Between 3-5:00 I started to get some serious gas.  Of course, sitting here at work surrounded by people, I had to hold it until I could bolt around the corner or to the bathroom.  I haven't farted that loud in ages.  Luckily it was all air and no smell, until after I had the test and ate some of my dad's spicy jumbalaya for dinner.  I voluntarily slept on the couch for a few hours last night.

Oh yeah, after work and before the test, I had a little time to kill.  So I went home and tried to munch on a handfull of Frosted Flakes between sips.  The trick actually helped a little, until my brain realized it was being duped.  That's when the gag reflex kicked in.
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