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Author Topic: Apparently Jesus can help your golf game  (Read 2034 times)

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Jonathan

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2005, 12:52:44 PM »

Brings a new meaning to the phrase "touched by the Holy Spirit"...
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"I believe that in the long view of history, the British Empire will be remembered only for two things. The game of football, and the expression 'fuck off.'" - Sir Richard Turnbull

Shlep

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2005, 09:49:23 PM »



"....and so then the greenskeeper says, 'Oh, that's Jesus.  He just *wishes* he was Tiger Woods!"



I'm reminded of the Cuban guy in Major league: "Ahhh, I like Hey-zoos very much.  But he no help me with curveball!"



Meanwhile, the Apostles are getting hit over the head and throttled by Liverpool fans.



"Though Jesus has been a standout player on the court, he confided to Sports Illustrated this week that what he really wants to do is cut a rap album."
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mikeatthemadfrog

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #17 on: August 21, 2005, 11:58:25 AM »

miracle number 34140 for SMC...

Jesus moves up behind cindy (who of course had chosen the wrong driver for the par 3 course) and ever so gently and quietly (it's a golf course which requires low volume miracles) turns the driver into a 9...

for the par 3...

Cindy, blessed is your choice of wood...
blessed are those who play with me over their shoulders...

I love modernizing jesus...
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Atzend

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #18 on: August 21, 2005, 02:17:09 PM »



I never figured Jesus to be an ass who would taunt the children with keep away.  

I wonder if he plays his own variation of the unfunny nose stealing grandfather game "Got your soul!"
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thepsychicpoirot

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2005, 12:14:47 AM »

So, was Jesus a pitcher or a catcher?
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Cockney Rebel

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2005, 09:59:40 AM »

Unless I witness Jesus in a helmet doing Nascar I can't see these statues doing much for 'middle America'
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Jonathan

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2005, 10:52:09 AM »

Or football. I don't see football, either.

Does that mean Jesus is a Blue Stater after all?

Naaahhhh...
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"I believe that in the long view of history, the British Empire will be remembered only for two things. The game of football, and the expression 'fuck off.'" - Sir Richard Turnbull

snakelady

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2005, 08:16:55 PM »

Quote from: "Jonathan"
Or football. I don't see football, either.


I think He once said "ask and ye shall receive"

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Cockney Rebel

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Apparently Jesus can help your golf game
« Reply #23 on: August 22, 2005, 09:20:01 PM »

Quote from: "snakelady"
Quote from: "Jonathan"
Or football. I don't see football, either.


I think He once said "ask and ye shall receive"


...and I think Jesus is receiving that red-shirted kid's thumb up his arse
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Opulence. I has it.
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