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Author Topic: Air your dirty little secrets here  (Read 12158 times)

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AngelV

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Air your dirty little secrets here
« Reply #105 on: August 11, 2004, 10:29:58 AM »

Hee...two words I never thought I'd see next to one another...tasteful and porn. :lol:
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cuddlyevil

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« Reply #106 on: August 11, 2004, 10:31:16 AM »

Well, see I'm down with tasteful porn :) I'm a member over on nerve.com and LOVE the photography section...pm me with his info if'n you got it, I'll consider him.
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Butter

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« Reply #107 on: August 11, 2004, 11:07:55 AM »

Quote from: "thelunarbee"
Well, he doesn't just do porn.  

He does a lot of school pics as well- senior class photos, etc.


Teens ARE more promiscuous these days.
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scurvygirl

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« Reply #108 on: August 11, 2004, 11:28:06 AM »

Quote from: "Butter"
Teens ARE more promiscuous these days.


Yeah that's always the big joke with him.  He gets sooo pissed when people say that to him.  So I say it every chance I get!
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eyeball

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« Reply #109 on: August 11, 2004, 11:29:45 AM »

along the lines of rva's amp theft.

when I lived in clifton I lived above the st vincents on short vine.  people would drop stuff off out back and we'd go down and get the bags and take what we wanted.  all the time.  :)
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Nate

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« Reply #110 on: August 13, 2004, 05:21:49 AM »

All right, gather around kids, for it is late and I'm in the mood to share my first experience with the alcohol known as absinthe.

I was 22, and a buddy of mine had specially ordered it through the 'net for a party at our apartment.  Up until it arrived, he kept telling me how Van Gogh used it to get inspiration for his paintings and how it brought hallucinations and other stuff.  The day of the party, the bottle arrived inconspicuously in a brown box and had a skull and crossbones on the front label.  We let out a big whoop when we saw that.  Why?  We were 22 and stupid.  Every guy is stupid at that age.  If it had a Mr. Yuk sticker on it, we probably would have whooped too.

So, that night, the party is kicking.  My buddy calls me into the kitchen with some other friends to do a shot.  He grabs the absinthe bottle and starts pouring.  We had all been drinking before this and were out of shot glasses, so we used plastic cups and guess-timated how much a shot was.  We toasted and it went down all right for me.  I held out my glass to indicate I wanted another, So he poured.  I downed that as fast as the first one.  And then I downed another.  I had about four shots worth of absinthe in a ten-minute period.  

At first I didn't feel anything, and then *BAM* it hit me.  I wasn't tipsy or any other colorful euphemism you would use.  No, I was instantly FUCKED UP.  My friends said the next day I couldn't put words together and spent much of the rest of the evening drooling on myself in a corner.  Eventually, they put me to bed in my buddy's room, because my bed was being used by an amorous couple and my buddy slept on the couch.

I woke up the next morning naked on the floor in a pile of sheets and clothing.  Plus, I was still drunk.  Not as bad as last night, but bad enough to not know where I was right away and have a mild panic attack.  As I stumbled naked back to my room, I noticed I didn't have to pee.  Which when I've been drinking, my bladder shrinks to the size of a thimble.  I didn't think much of it and just assumed I was too drunk to remember using the bathroom.  I collapsed into bed and passed out again.

A few days later, I got home from work and noticed my buddy/roommate using a carpet shampooer in his room.  Which if you ever met him, cleaning was not a strong habit of his.  So I peeked into his room and asked what was up.  

He turned to me in an exasperated manner and said, "Dude.  My room fucking stinks!  I don't know what it is, but it's all over the rug and over here" (pointing to his wall).  I walked in to get a closer look (smell) and was overcome by a foul acidic odor.  I said, "Goddamn!  It smells like Oliver sprayed or something."  (Oliver was our cat at the time).

"Whatever it is dude, I can't stay in this room.  It's driving me nuts", my buddy muttered.  "Fucking cat, pissing in my room."

Perhaps it was hearing the word "pissing" instead of "sprayed" but I instantly knew where the source of the smell came from...me.

Since I have no memory of actually doing this, here is my best hypothesis of what happened during the night.  I got up and still being extremely inebriated, I must have thought I was in our bathroom and began to pee.  I peed all over my buddy's carpet, his stereo cabinet, his dresser drawer, and several schoolbooks and when finished, went back to sleep as if nothing had happened.

This shocking thought went through my head in a matter of seconds, and somehow I managed to pull it together and casually reply, "I'll call the vet and set up an appt. for Oliver.  He can't be doing this anymore."

"Fuck right he can't!  I mean, he pissed all over my laundry and They Might Be Giants albums.  Fucking cat!"  I turned and walked back to my room.  

A month later, our lease was up and my buddy and I moved to separate apartments.  I never told him what actually happened to his stuff and I never saw him again.  (So, Brian, if you're out there, I'm sorry, man.)

That was the first (and last) time I ever drank absinthe.
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Boogieman

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« Reply #111 on: August 13, 2004, 08:44:26 AM »

Hell yeah!  nothing like a good pissing story.  Too bad you pissed off your friend.

That reminds me of the time.......... ah nevermind.
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Doug

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« Reply #112 on: August 13, 2004, 09:03:33 AM »

I've been sleeping and having to pee so bad that I've dreampt that I got up to go to the bathroom and right when I'm about to pee, it hits me that I'm still in bed.  I've had several close calls like this.
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Boogieman

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« Reply #113 on: August 13, 2004, 09:08:06 AM »

I had a dream last night that i went to lunch and forgot to come back to work.  Totally dissin a big client's install.
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Sue

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Air your dirty little secrets here
« Reply #114 on: August 13, 2004, 10:07:09 AM »

Quote from: "DogStarMan"
I've been sleeping and having to pee so bad that I've dreampt that I got up to go to the bathroom and right when I'm about to pee, it hits me that I'm still in bed.  I've had several close calls like this.

when I was a kid, I used to have this dream:  I was laying in a lounge chair by the pool, wearing only a bathing suit.  somehow, this got translated as the green light to tinkle, akin to peeing in the pool I suppose.  more often than not, at the end of the scenario, I woke up with a wet bed. :oops:
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cuddlyevil

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« Reply #115 on: August 13, 2004, 10:11:41 AM »

The guy that keeps calling our office? He actually IS in the psych ward! :shock:
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redbobsled

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« Reply #116 on: August 16, 2004, 05:18:13 PM »

This is more under the category of TMI, but I felt the pathological need to share anyway.  I'm still trying to get over my bronchitis, and the only lingering symptom is the horrible, constant cough.  So, I've been taking so much generic drugstore Robotussin and drinking so much water that my pee is totally clear and smells entirely of cough medicine.  
Gross.  I think maybe that means I should cut back on the meds...
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Juliana

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« Reply #117 on: August 16, 2004, 05:43:38 PM »

I hope you kept the amp RVA.
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vizzah

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« Reply #118 on: August 16, 2004, 07:08:24 PM »

yesterday i listened to lite 99.9 the whle way home from my folks' house because my CD player wasn't working proper.  and i knew the words to EVERY song.
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The Hegemo

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« Reply #119 on: August 16, 2004, 08:55:37 PM »

When I was in first grade at Oakley School, I went to the bathroom one day, and when I got in there, was just suddenly overcome with nausea...puked all over the bathroom. But I was embarrassed about it and didn't want to get in trouble, so I didn't tell anyone and just left and went back to my classroom. And I felt okay for the rest of the day.
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